Baby
by msgrits
Summary: Sara sat looking at the oddly colored image. She was seventeen weeks pregnant. Seventeen weeks. It had not seemed real until now. GRS
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Thanks Bednadette, Sassy and Maryrose for all the hard beta work. This is fluff. It is therapeutic fluff. I need a little brightness in the mist of the dark stories I am writing as of late**.

Sara sat looking at the oddly colored image. She was seventeen weeks pregnant. Seventeen weeks. It had not seemed real until now. She was going to be responsible for another human being in less than five months. Hell! She was responsible for the baby now. She ate fairly healthy, and she exercised regularly but had to lighten up on her workload. She was definitely working too much.

Work. Work brought thoughts of Grissom. She should tell him. She would tell him. He deserved to know. Kissing the picture, she slipped it between her seat and the passenger's seat then spoke out loud to her unborn daughter.

"Kiddo, Mommy's going to clean up her act. No more doubles. I am going to drink all my water and eat all my veggies and sleep. I am going to sleep eight hours."

Sara's mind wandered to her own birth certificate, which she had only paid close attention to in the last few years. She had been stunned to see just how underweight she was even though her mother had carried her to term.

"You are going to have boyfriends, and do silly things, and you aren't ever going to worry about how much anything costs or breaking up fights between your parents. And cake. You are going to have cake everyday if you want. You can dye your hair stupid colors like blue or green, because you can just be a kid and you won't have to worry about working. Okay, so we might have to get past your father on the hair thing." Today is pink!

"You are going to be healthy, and you are going to do anything you want. You can take all the lessons and play all the sports you want. Well, maybe not all if your Daddy isn't signed up for the ride, but some. If your Daddy doesn't want to be a part of your life, Mommy's going to have to go to back school, but I'll do it while you are still baby so you won't feel neglected or abandoned. I am not so sure about leaving you with Uncle Nick and Uncle Warrick. Warrick will use you to pick up girls, and Nick will treat you like me, a boy who has to shave his legs. I just need the PhD to make sure we are set. You should see what your daddy charges for one lecture. That will pay for lacrosse and soccer and ballet and anything else you want to do."

Sara was quiet for a minute. "Yeah, I know I have to tell him."

It was all such a terrible cliché. They had worked an awful, long, and tedious case at the Luxor. After twenty-four hours of processing a hotel room, an elevator, and a blackjack table, Sara's phone had rung. Catherine. She told her that Grissom's doctor had said his blood pressure was borderline. Get the Bugman out of there. If Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle hadn't found the evidence by now, it was not there. Sara had nodded stupidly as if Catherine was standing in front of her. She was shot to hell too. How would they get home? Usually one of them was alert enough to drop the other off.

After the evidence was sent back to the lab with one of the uniforms, they had decided that sleep was necessary. They were in a place full of beds. When the front desk clerk had told them there was only one bed, Gil had laughed with the absurdity of the situation. Luckily, it was a two-room suite, compliments of the house for all their hard work.

Of course, they only used one bed. It had happened before; the frantic coupling after a tough case. It was likely to happen again. They didn't ignore it, nor did they over analyze it. Sex was the only drug that made them feel better.

As Sara turned her car into the direction of her apartment, she continued to think of her unborn daughter. She had considered abortion for one solid month until her belly started pressing against the waistband of her pants. She was scared – petrified in fact. She didn't know anything about kids or what they needed. She needed a bigger place. She needed to talk to people who were parents. She needed to take classes and read books. There was so much to do and so very little time before this little baby made its way into the world. Five months and a tiny person would be in her life demanding food and love and safety.

What would Grissom say? Would he be happy? Angry? She didn't know. They were sporadic lovers on a good day and wary friends on a bad one. Still lately, he had seemed to want more. He dropped by her apartment wanting only to talk and not just to bed her. He remembered her birthday and gave her a silver locket with a ladybug etched in it. She had wondered if she should put Grissom's picture in the locket. Now she would put her daughter's in it.

Sara wasn't surprised to find him sitting outside her door.

"Tough shift," she said, pulling out her keys.

"Yeah," Grissom replied.

Sara resisted the urge to pull the sonogram picture from her purse. See! Look at her. Isn't she beautiful? What's that? Of course, she's going to have curly hair. Dark curly hair. She's going to be gorgeous! She's going to have your eyes and my bone structure. Smart. Oh yeah, she's going to be smart too.

Once into the apartment, Grissom peered at her smiling face. "You look happy."

Sara nodded and evaded. "It's been a good day."

Later when she woke up, Sara was startled to find Grissom still there. She had expected him to say something about her body once he finished undressing her. He hadn't. So much for the easy way out. While they slept, her arm had wound round his chest. Feeling sticky from sex, Sara padded into the bathroom and turned on the shower, wishing she had enough courage to wake Grissom and ask him if he wanted to join her.

Once she was done toweling off, Sara took out a tube of peach scented lotion and rubbed it all over her body, concentrating on her belly, hips, thighs, and breasts. After that, she stared at herself dead on in the mirror. Sara Heartflowe Sidle looked good pregnant. She didn't exactly glow, but she did shine a bit. Giggling at her own joke, Sara pulled a silky caftan over her head and opened the door quietly so as not wake Grissom. Her friend Mina had sent the garment to her from Afghanistan. It was perfect for a pregnant woman who needed something comfortable but still wanted to look attractive even if it was only for herself.

**Grissom**

He savored the feel of her arm around him. Sara's hands were soft. Much softer than he had expected, and her breath was warm and sweet and a little spicy when she woke up. The first time they had made love, he would not think of it as anything else, happened after Nick's abduction. After that, it happened once every few months then once every few weeks and now nearly every week. After the first time, Grissom had wanted to tell her that he needed more, that lying between her legs was wonderful, but he needed more. He had chickened out when Sara seemed so determined to be cavalier about the two of them.

Her lips touched his back. She kissed Grissom like that when she thought he was asleep. Now he watched her out of slits in his eyes as she sauntered to the shower. He wished she would wake him and ask him to join her. She wouldn't, of course, because then he would see her naked in the light of day and not confused by lust.

He didn't know how long she had known about the baby. Grissom had figured it out weeks before, and he waited for her to tell him. He left long silences in conversations until he thought the baby wasn't his, but that seemed utterly ridiculous. When she had called in sick two weeks before, Grissom was sure it was because Sara had terminated the pregnancy. He told himself not to be angry or hurt. It was her body. Besides, what had he offered her?

After shift, he showed up at her door with painkillers and ice cream. She had refused the painkillers but had eaten the entire pint of ice cream in ten minutes, licking the spoon and asking for more when she was done. Relief flooded through his body, and he had stayed until the next shift, rubbing her feet and waiting for her to tell him.

**Sara**

She felt a little sadness to find the bed empty. The fact that Grissom had stayed seemed to signal that he might be interested in something more. Sara shook off the disappointment and went to find something to eat. She would have to call Grissom before the next shift started and tell him that she needed to take a three-week medical leave immediately. Her blood pressure was borderline. Her doctor made not so subtle hints about a high-risk pregnancy. She wasn't thirty-five yet, but she was close. When Grissom asked why, she would tell him about the baby.

Grissom stood in the doorway, holding a tray of food. He nodded towards the bed.

"Breakfast is served, m'lady."

Sara smiled and returned to her former spot, grinning up at him as settled the tray between them.

"Thanks," she said as she bit into a link of soy sausage.

"No sounds of protest. I must be gaining some ground."

Sara's mouth twitched slightly. She never knew what to say when he made comments like that. Grissom sighed heavily as the phone rang. He needed some quiet time with Sara. The job would have to wait. When he finished with the phone call, he gave Sara an apologetic shrug.

"If it's the last thing I do, I am going to harass Greg into an advanced degree in Entomology."

Sara smiled back, picking at her food now. She didn't want Grissom to go. "You won't have to harass him. He'll be honored. So where are you headed?"

"Park. No body but some insects that might indicate it was the dumping ground of that Ethiopian kid from last week."

Kids. Who could hurt kids? It would be tough on him even though there was no body

"You want to come with me?"

Sara gave him a surprised look. "Won't that be weird? I mean, won't people ask questions?"

"We tell the truth. We were having breakfast. If you aren't with me, I will stay too long and I won't get enough sleep and I will be grumpy and then you'll get snippy because I am grumpy and then Greg will get nervous and go tell Catherine that we aren't behaving ourselves and then she'll get snippy and then Warrick will have to deal with her snippiness which will make Nick cranky who will then take it out on you. I am just trying to stop a vicious cycle."

Three minutes later, Sara was dressed in the only jeans that still fit and her favorite Harvard pullover, eating the croissant, egg and soy sausage sandwich that Grissom had insisted she take with her. After he finished with the small scene samples, he climbed into the driver's seat of Sara's SUV hybrid. Absently, he reached for the forensics journal Sara always kept in the space beside and the gearshift. No telling how long Sara would be. She had been sucked into a _Star Trek_ argument with Greg over the merits of Jean-Luc Picard versus James Kirk. Sara was solidly in the camp of Picard. Grissom smiled as he listened to her voice carry. At least if he lost his hair, Sara would still love him. Love. There was that word again. Did she love him?

Sara got back into the car, her rant winding down. "Greg is nuts. Jean-Luc over Kirk anytime." She turned to see him holding the sonogram up to the window.

"I am assuming that this is my daughter, my four month old daughter according to this," he said evenly.

Sara blinked and gave him a doe-eyed stare. "Grissom, I was going to tell you this morning. I swear I was."

He rolled his eyes and let out a defeated sigh. Two of them. What was he going to do with two of them? He had just begun to figure Sara out.

Sara watched Grissom's profile as he held the picture up to the light. "Say something. What are you thinking?"

"I am thinking that if she's ten percent as adorable as you are then I am sunk."

xxx

He was pacing. Pacing and lecturing. Sara watched him walk back and forth, and she felt the oddest need to laugh. If she laughed, that would only extend the lecture, so she just sat there as Grissom chastised her for not telling him – surprised to learn that he already knew. The sonogram picture had been the final straw.

Relief flooded through Sara when Grissom had taken her back to his house and made her eat again. He wasn't deserting her and the baby. She hadn't thought he would, but she couldn't be sure. Gilbert Isaac Grissom had signed up for the long haul. Sara was nearly giddy as he toasted another French pastry and shoveled strawberries and yogurt into a blender.

"Why aren't you talking?" he finally asked.

"Cause you are right, and because I am supposed to remain calm," she said without thinking.

"What…" he was rocking back on his heals now staring at her, worry twisting his mouth.

"I have some blood pressure issues. My doctor says I have to take some time off."

"How long?" he wanted to know.

"At least three weeks."

"So, you aren't keeping things from me as the baby's father; you are keeping things from me as your boss. What? Were you just not going to show up work tonight?"

"Griss, I just found out this morning. I was going to call you but then you were there and then the phone rang."

"So you said." Grissom huffed as he sat down on his bed next to Sara. His intention had been to make her sleep after her second breakfast, but the sight of her dressed in his t-shirt and boxers looking thoroughly knocked up had pissed him off and started his tirade.

"Do you think I am stupid, Sara?"

She shook her head, wondering if either of them was going to get some sleep. Sara had actually hoped for another roll in the hay before she took a nap.

"Of course I don't think you're stupid. I figured you would say something if you knew."

He took in her sagging shoulders and rhythmic breathing. "I'm sorry."

She raised her one eyebrow in surprise.

"You should be sleeping. Did you get enough to eat?"

"No more food, Grissom. It's a baby, not a linebacker." She moved closer to him on the bed, making contact with his thigh. "You should be sleeping too."

He spoke the next words tentatively. "Are you…are you happy about her?"

Sara gave a slow nod. "How long have you known?"

"A couple of weeks. After the Dishmon case. When you changed, you pulled your sweatshirt off and put on a clean one. I saw your stomach and then when I came over, I could see it up close in your breasts."

"I never thought I would have kids," Sara admitted.

Sara didn't know what to say, so she stated the obvious. "She's going to be smart."

"Brilliant," he corrected.

"Not if you don't let me have my nap," she yawned.

**Six years Later**

"**Mommy, you nearly waited too long. It was nearly out time. I was almost here."**

**Sara looked to the drowsy forms beside her. "I knew you wouldn't come out early. You are you just like your Dad. Hair has to be just right."**

**Hannah Grissom spoke to her father. "What happened next Daddy?"**

**Grissom yawned. "Then you came and we lived happily every after."**

"**That's not what happened next. Tell me the other part."**

"**That's all I remember. One minute you weren't here, the next you were. It was magic."**

**Sara snorted. "Labor magic."**

"**Tell me the next part Daddy."**

**He nodded. "Well…"**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Welcome to Danese, my new groovy beta girl. She and Larissa are now Batman and Robin. I don't know whose Batman or whose Robin but they are the dynamic duo.

Footnote. Cybrocat is the joker who owns a big ole broom.

**Chapter 2**

Sara huffed and threw a shirt towards Grissom. It landed on his head. He took the offending object from atop his curls folding it neatly and putting it beside him on the bed.

It was the third shirt that Sara had rejected.

"I look pregnant." Sara said turning side-ways in his dresser mirror.

"Maybe because you are." Sara threw a lovely pair of boot cut maternity slacks at him this time.

"I can't just walk into work with my belly leading the way. I haven't told anyone. I mean I should have a least called Nick. That's what I get for working with my friends."

Grissom glued his lips shut as Sara pulled another pair of slacks from the UPS parcel that had been delivered last week. Determined not to look like a matronly pregnant woman, Sara had gone onto a message board and gotten recommendations on where she could find chic maternity clothes. To Grissom's eye all the blouses and pants looked just like the pregnant women he saw on MTV. So that had to be chic right? He continued to keep his mouth shut.

"Why aren't you talking?" She squinted into the mirror.

"Trying not to get hit by Donna Karen's latest creation for the fashionable mother-to-be."

Sara blew a curl from in front of her eyes. She just didn't have the wherewithal to straighten it these days. "Sorry Gris. I am just slightly freaked out that I have to go back to work and announce my condition."

"You want me to come to work?"

"No, it's your night off. You need a night off. You have been catering to me for three weeks. You need your house back. I am sure you need space."

He wanted to tell her that he didn't need space. He'd had enough space. She had stumbled into staying with him. She didn't need to be alone. Her blood pressure. A first pregnancy. Dr. Merrit wanted her blood pressure to at least stabilize.

It had gone down but not enough for her to go back to work full-time. So she was returning to work for a half shift. After two weeks, there would be another check up to see if she could work full-time. Larissa Merrit didn't seem hopeful, only relenting after Grissom gave her a "she's going to hurt me if you don't let her go back to work" look.

Sara pulled a pair of gray slacks from the box. As she tugged them on, she continued to speak. "So should I tell them about you being… that the baby is yours?"

Grissom hadn't even considered the question. "Whatever you think is best. Maybe we could do it together," he offered quietly.

She smiled into the mirror. Crisp white shirt skirting across her belly with tiny pink pen stripes, gray slacks, curly hair pulled away from her face. Finally, she looked like herself. "Okay, we can do it together."

She looked at her the new white gold ring watch that Grissom had bought her. She wouldn't have bought it for herself, but she liked it. It went with the locket he'd bought her. This one had a place for a picture as well. Maybe Grissom's photo could go there. Maybe.

"I'll call you when I get off," she said folding a shirt and returning it to a box.

"What…?"

"Um well, I can go back to my place now that I can go to work."

Grissom shook his head. "That is not what your doctor said. She barely let you go back to work. See you in five hours."

Sara tried not to smile as she dusted powder on her face.

xxx

Sara was sitting in Grissom's office waiting for the others. It provided privacy and coverage of the belly.

She had come through the back entrance. After stashing her things quickly in her locker, she had paged Nick, Catherine, Brass, Warrick, and Greg. She wasn't sure who was in the lab or out in the field. She would just have to deal with who was present and let the rest find out via the whispered phone calls that were sure to follow.

Warrick was the first to arrive walking lazily into the room grinning down at Sara.

"If you got a promotion before me, I am filing a sexual discrimination suit."

Sara smiled at him. "Sexual discrimination?"

"Yeah, just cause you have a better ass than me is no reason for you to be promoted."

"Depends on who's looking at the ass. I am sure your boss thinks that your ass is just fine."

Warrick flopped into a low chair and stretched out his long legs. "Well, what's the big news? Finally gave Gris some and he's never coming back?"

Sara raised a thin looking eyebrow. The sun had bleached some of the hairs giving the impression of a professional arch.

Greg bopped into the room and smacked Warrick in the back of his head with a folder, quickly ducking out of the way. "What I lack in height I make up for in agility. What's the big powwow about?"

Greg's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Why you in Grissom's chair? Am I being sent back to the lab? Are you the executioner? That is so lame. He knows I can't be mad at Sara cause she's my one and only true love."

Sara shook her head and Greg positioned himself along the wall. Brass and Nick brought up the rear, and Sara motioned for Brass to pull the door shut.

All eyes locked on Sara. "I have an announcement."

"I hope you don't think you are quitting while Gris isn't here. If you are, I don't want to know," Brass spoke quietly as he eyed the door.

"Come to think of it he probably had this office bugged and mic'ed after Greg and the ferret incident."

"That is so not fair. That was like four years ago." Greg whined.

Warrick rolled his eyes and kicked one large foot in Greg's direction. "Four years, six days and 22 hours. Ask me how I know cause that was the day he wrote the entire night shift up for insubordination. Like I needed to be written up for one more thing. You know you nearly cost me my job…."

Sara raised her hand. "Boys!"

All eyes returned to Sara as she spoke. "Where's Catherine?"

"Chaperoning drill team at competition. Thirty 7th and 8th graders doing high kicks and covered in body glitter." Warrick replied

Sara frowned for a second. She didn't know shit about drill teams or dancing or high kicks. What if her daughter was a girly girl? Dammit. She didn't know what to do with girly girls.

"So what's the big news, Sara?" Nick asked good-naturedly.

"I have an announcement. I would say that it goes no further than this room but considering the announcement I doubt that's going to happen."

Sara looked into four sets of eyes and took a big breath "I am going to have a baby."

Greg was the first to laugh, then Warrick and Nick. Brass just stared.

Greg pointed a finger at her. "You almost had me there for second Lucy."

Sara frowned. Well, this was nice. The idea of her being pregnant was so far fetched it elicited laughter. She pushed her chair back and stood. She turned sideways and pointed to her stomach.

"Not a joke guys."

The laughter ceased as fast as it had started. Sara spoke rapidly taking advantage of the silence. "That's why I had to take the time off because of my blood pleasure and that's why I can only work half shifts for awhile and I why I can't go in the field until the baby is born. I will do all your simulations and research so you guys can concentrate on the field."

Nick shook his head stiffly. "I think I am supposed to ask something else, but I don't know what is."

Sara sighed and walked around the desk. "Why don't you guys meet me at the diner Saturday morning? We can use the back room and I will tell you all about it."

She gave them the benefit of the perfect Sara Sidle smile.

The all nodded dumbly as she left the room.

xxx

Sara walked into the townhouse stepping as quietly as possible. She had worked nearly a full shift. She hadn't meant to, but by the time she finished building a collapse model and talked through a burglary case with Greg, shift was almost over. Thankfully Grissom had not called. Hopefully, he was still asleep.

Carefully, she made her way to the kitchen trying to figure out what she could eat that would take little or minimum preparation. She had just settled on a bowl of raisin bran with banana, when she was startled by Grissom's voice.

"That's it. You aren't going back to work." Grissom's voice cut the air like a steel blade.

Sara turned to find Grissom standing at the edge of the kitchen, hair mussed and chest bare.

Sara swallowed a bit of banana and spoke quickly, "I got caught up. It was nice being back at work and before I knew it shift was nearly over. It won't happen again."

Grissom eyed the cereal and fruit. "No, it won't. Cause you aren't going back. I left Dr. Merrit a message already.''

Sara searched for words that would not provoke a fight. "Grissom, I am grown woman. You can't tell me what to do."

"You are a grown woman who is carrying my daughter. Your life is not your own anymore, Sara. WE have a child to think of. What happened to turning over the new leaf? Not working too much? Eating better? Sleeping enough? What happened to that?"

Sara stirred brown flakes absently and then finally, she gave him a sweet expression.

"_Why can't I just have a son?" Grissom thought._

"Sorry," she mumbled. "You are right."

He hated it when she did that look, took the steam out of his bluster. He spoke quietly as he reached for a box of Special K with berries.

"Sara, I know you think I am over-protective. You are probably right, but this might be the only child I ever have. I think I have a right to be a little over-protective. I don't want anything to happen to our baby, and I don't want anything to happen to you."

Sara stopped chewing when he spoke the last sentence. She wanted to know what was going on with her and Grissom, but she hadn't the nerve to ask. She had lived with him for nearly a month. She had never wanted to live with another person. Even in college, she had requested single rooms. She liked her own company and enjoyed moving around in a space that was just hers.

Now she had a child to consider and her baby's father to consider. Who would have ever thought that she and Grissom would end up having a baby together? "If I promise to leave work on time tomorrow, will you give me a second chance?"

He watched her hungrily as Sara lifted the spoon to her lips. "Sara…"

The doe-eyed look surfaced again. He shook his head and sat across from her.

Sara smiled to herself and spoke telepathically to her daughter. "You got that, little girl? That's how you work your Daddy. Remember what I said about you being able to dye your hair crazy colors? Scratch that! We'll be lucky to get you out the house before you are 21 wearing lipstick."

xxx

Gil Grissom did not sleep much these days. Mostly he stared at the ceiling wondering how he was going to pay for it all. He called his financial advisor weeks before Sara had fessed up to him about the baby. Georgia Foxx moaned and sucked on her ever-present diet Coke as she issued spare economic questions. She hated surprises.

"_Ivy League?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Private school before that?"_

"_Not a fan of the private schools around here. I was hoping that maybe she would go to one of the specialized public schools. Performing arts or science magnet."_

"_You keeping the town house?"_

_Gil felt like he drowning. "Um, maybe."_

"_You getting married?"_

"_Um-I don't…."_

"_Sure you are." The lithe brunette said quickly. "So you get married. You sell the house or you keep it and remodel which might not be such a bad idea considering the property value. You don't do private school, but maybe a fancy day care or kindergarten. You buy the little woman a nice classic ring. I am thinking that maybe you get off light if you have some heirloom piece or your mother's or grandmother's that you can rework. Old school Italian families usually do. You have more kids and with your genes at least one of them has the will to get a tuition scholarship to…if not Ivy League, somewhere damn close and we should be looking at…."_

_Gil listened as she typed furiously and spoke into her ever-present headset. "If you sell your share in the family vineyard after they finish the season. You need to wait until then because your mother says the merlot is going to put them on map and you sink the profit into some blue chip stocks and if you don't let the little woman twist you around her finger. Sounds like it might be too late for that and if you don't buy new cars -wait."_

_Beads of perspiration rolled down his face at the sheer volume of information. _

"_And if you trade your jaunts abroad for Disneyland."  
_

_Gil spoke softly, "No more Europe…"_

_Georgia cackled. "Maybe every few years but you got that pretty young thing now that doubles your expense and this little one on the way. I so hope it's not a girl- dammit."_

_Gil broke into her thoughts. "Why do you assume she's young?"_

"_She my age?"_

"_About."_

"_Too young for you. If it's a girl then we have to add in a wedding and taking daddy for a ride expenditures."_

"_What…?"_

"_Little girl born at your age from the sweet young thing," she cackled again. "She'll come home every week with stories of some new bauble or dress she just has to have. Between her and her mother."_

_More typing sounds punctuated another laugh._

"_Okay if you sell your share in the vineyard. Move some of your stocks around to more aggressive holdings and you bump up your lecturing fee. You should be okay."_

Gil had hung up the phone silently resolute and at peace with his plan. That was before he had seen the sonogram and actually digested all that was going to take place over the next few months. Sara's constant presence caused him complete peace laced with stabs of worry. She was having his baby and living in his house. He was responsible for them. He didn't mind the vague responsibilities that other relationships required. Rescuing Catherine every now and then. Making sure his mother's finances were in order by doing a yearly check even though Maria Grissom was as precise as he was. Now he had decisions to make about another person's life. He was not just providing advice or rescue. One misstep and he could ruin her life. One wrong word and she would end up with low self-esteem and married to some loser that didn't treat her well.

Sara had survived that kind of childhood, but she should have had so much better. Sara. What was going on between them? Neither had said more than two words about their future. They talked about the baby, and the dreams they had for her. Never once addressing their own fragile relationship. Grissom had some fuzzy notion that he needed to start working on the baby's room, but he didn't know how to proceed. Was the baby going to have a room at his place? Was Sara moving in? They weren't married, and he guessed that Sara only stayed because of her health, though she did seem to like being with him.

There had been little awkwardness as the two scientists fell into an easy orderly routine. They made love and watched movies. They went for long walks in the small park across the street from his house where Sara looped her arm through his and watched wistfully as little girls ran and hid and called out to be found.

He should ask her. He should bring it up just like he should have called her on the pregnancy. In every other corner of his life, Gil Grissom was precise and well planned. With Sara, it only seemed to work if he plodded alone blindly and didn't ask too many questions, neither making assumptions nor offering explanation. Would they even be having a baby if he'd asked too many questions? Probably not. He could safely say that this baby was the best thing that ever happened to him. If he and Sara didn't end up together it would hurt, but he could rebound. For the first time in a long time, Sara wasn't the center of his universe. That wasn't true either. She was at the center, but now he had a daughter to care about and love. He had a reason to wake up in the morning now. A reason to feel young, not the dreary middle-aged man that he had become over the last few years.

He watched as Sara mumbled something and turned toward him. He smiled as she buried her face into his chest.

**Thirteen Years Later**

**Hannah Grissom was vague on the details of her parents' marriage. As she had grown older, they filled in the missing pieces her parent's deemed age appropriate. They had never lied to her about her conception and birth. They just hadn't told her everything. The 12 year old sipped juice and watched as her father chopped vegetables for minestrone. Her mother was a good cook. Her father was an excellent cook. Hannah was sure she would fall somewhere in the middle. A tumble of noise and bare legs rushed through the front door. Noah and Sara Grissom appeared in the doorway sweaty and sun kissed. The youngest Grissom walked on sturdy muscled legs up to barstool where his sister sat. Grinning wickedly, he let out a loud burp followed by round of giggles as his sister cried, "Ew" and "gross" and let out her own belch**

"**How was soccer?" Gil asked pleasantly as he released a cutting board of vegetables into chicken broth.**

"**How did we decide who got to do soccer and who got to do karate?"**

"**Um, well, you used to play soccer, hon. That's how we decided."**

**Sara came up behind him and whisper kissed his neck as Noah pounced on his sister demanding candy. Hannah was notorious for having candy on her at all times. Noah was the only one she relinquished any to. She produced a red sucker that her favorite bank teller had given her a week before. Noah ripped open the confection and pulled himself up on the stool next to her. **

**They both rolled their eyes at their parents. Old people should not kiss. **

"**I think I changed my mind," Sara said.**

"**No changing your mind. We test for our orange belts next week. See these hands? They are lethal weapons." Grissom waggled his eyebrows.**

"**That's cause they have a knife in them."**

"**Just burst my bubble why don't you."**

"**What have you guys been up to?" said Sara as she reached for a sliver of red pepper.**

"**Daddy was telling me about how worried he was when I was about to be born. Because I would cost too much money." **

Grissom stopped chopping and looked at his daughter. "Sweetheart, you know I don't believe that right?"

**Hannah shrugged her shoulders and scratched a mosquito bite on one ankle. "I know you love me, Daddy. I won't have self esteem issues. Mommy's right. You are a worry wart." Although the misquote bite was pretty funny**

**Grissom looked at his wife who was busy flipping through a forensics journal. Her mouth twitched.**

"**Well, you wouldn't have known he was worried about money." Sara said cryptically. Hannah perked up. Another bit of the story she didn't know about.**

"**Why?"**

**Sara closed the publication and looked at all three sets of blue eyes. "I came home one day…"**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Thanks to Sassy, Maryrose and Danese for the great beta work.**

**Chapter 3**

Warrick saw him first. Or maybe he felt him. He had been there the longest, with the exception of Catherine, and he was a man like Grissom, a man raised primarily by women. He wore his heart on his sleeve though he covered it with a suit of tough guy passed on by his favorite uncle. Warrick got his armor from his grandfather. So when Sara saw his eyes change colors and his mouth stop chewing she knew Grissom was standing behind her.

She took one last bite of the greasy double cheese pizza from the takeout joint that Grissom had avoided because of his own blood pressure. The loud voices died as quickly as they had risen nearly an hour before when Sara, Warrick and Nick had begun the heated argument about interracial dating that had veered off into an intense conversation about gender reassignment.

"Gris," Warrick said edgily. "I thought you went on that triple with Cath?"

Sara shifted and took one last bite of the salty slab. She was so busted. Her only saving grace was that the boys were still uncertain as to whether Grissom was the father or not. She had postponed their breakfast at the diner because Grissom wanted to do something "special" - whatever that meant.

She felt his breath as he peeked over her shoulder. "Double cheese, deep dish crust with extra butter on the bottom. Oh no! That's not butter, that's that fake butter spray they use. I haven't had Sal's in, oh, two or maybe even three months. Might even be longer than that. Since that night we had the case at the Luxor?"

Sara rolled her shoulders in response to the veiled reverence to the baby's conception. He pulled the soft drink that was at Sara's elbow from the table.

"Mr. Ricky's Junkie Jolt Soda. You know this had more caffeine than any other soft drink on the market, even more than Mountain Dew and Jolt. More than the espresso my Uncle Sal consumed from lunchtime until he goes to bed."

Warrick wanted to look away but it was like a train wreck. Grissom being the wrecker and Sara being the wrecked train

Grissom gave a Nick and Warrick a hard stare. "I heard you guys in the parking lot."

Greg walked into this but turned on his heels when he saw the forbidden food and sugar filled drinks.

"Greg." Grissom called in the same voice that his biological children would come to dread.

"Yeah, Boss," Greg said in what would remind Grissom of the good natured cheeriness of his son one day.

"I am going to say this and I will not say it again."

Nick wanted to disappear. He was certain Grissom and his father were the same people in different bodies. It was only fair that the judge and Gil Grissom lived in different states. It was only fair to the criminals.

Grissom's voice was like a steel knife turned on itself.

"Sara has been put on restricted duty because her doctor said so. It was not a choice or an option. Her doctor, a medical doctor, a woman that went to school for this particular profession who is board certified in high risk obstetrics in the United States, Canada, Mexico, South Africa and the UK. A woman who graduated from Cornell in three years and went on to complete a fellowship in Johns Hopkins high-risk obstetrics put Sara Heartflowe Sidle on restrictions. These restrictions include a low sodium diet and trace amounts of caffeine. She is also supposed to remain calm. IF you call yourself her friends and IF you care about Sara you will not indulge her every little whim no matter what pitiful line she feeds you or what innocent expression she lays on you. I would think that after five years of knowing her that you each would realize the she's smarter than the three of you put together and slicker than Sam Braun on trial for murder."

Sara scrunched her eyes together like she would do years later when her husband would go on his rare rants, trying to block out the justified diatribe. Slowly he pulled the pizza box from the table and along with the sodas and dropped them one by one into the trashcan. He left. Sara gave the three men a guilty look.

Greg glared at Sara. "He was just getting over the ferret incident."

Sara raised her eyebrows at Warrick's odd expression. "Your middle name is Heartflowe? What kind of weirdo bullshit is that?"

xxxxxxxx

Gil Grissom watched his doctor for a full minute. He had just entered the exam room. The door was still open, his trusty nurse Emanuel at his side.

"You are sure these are his?" March Brooks ran his finger down a sheet of test results.

"Yes." Emanuel's light Spanish accent filled the room.

March eyed Grissom and closed the folder. He pushed the door closed, surprised to find Sara sitting in the room.

He let out a breath and said, "Ah."

Sara frowned. "Is something wrong?"

March took a few steps toward Sara and extended his hand. "Miss Sidle, I believe it is. We met a few years ago and the Law Enforcement Golf Tournament. I had to fill in for Doc Robbins when he broke his arm."

Sara nodded. She remembered the handsome, blue-eyed, silver haired man that looked like Grissom's lithe younger brother. Sara watched as he took in her belly and the bare left hand that rested on her protruding stomach. She shifted her weight.

"I see," March said to no on in particular.

"He's healthier than he has been in four years, Miss Sidle." March's soft Louisiana accent filled the air. "His blood pressure is down 30 points. His cholesterol is remarkable and he has lost 15 pounds. Only a beautiful woman can change a man's evil ways. It is still Miss Sidle I see, since Gil has not checked the married box."

Sara flushed and cut her eyes towards Grissom who was busy shaking his head and buttoning his shirt. He looked good a few pounds lighter. Hell, he looked good a few pounds heavier. The man just looked good. Sara fanned herself absently. There might be just enough time for a shag before he headed off to work.

"Miss Sidle, I do believe that look is what got you in your current state. Let's just hope it will keep our Gilbert on the path of repentance. My grandfather always said the love of a good woman will change a man, well that and her daddy's shotgun. My grandfather was doctor as well so he should have known where babies come from. They were married for 50 years. I think it's too late for our Gil to get that much time in but maybe we can get in a good 40." With that he clicked his pen, snapped the chart shut and moved towards the door.

"Gilbert, I will see you in six months. Hopefully, the good news will continue. Bring the little one. Bring your lovely Sara. We shall review your progress. Miss Sidle, please leave your number with my lovely wife. We shall do dinner, and I shall tell you all about Gil's erratic medical history."

Grissom pulled on his jacket and helped Sara to her feet. "March, that's illegal."

"Right, like you'd report me. I know where all the bodies are buried."

Sara interrupted the two men. "Who's your wife?"

"Ah. Emanuel is my wife and mother to my three daughters. Her daddy didn't have a shotgun. He put a Mayan curse on me, and then tried to run me down in one of his gas trucks. One man's shotgun is another's half-ton fuse. Good to see you again, Miss Sidle. Gilbert. Stay the course."

xxxxxxx

Sara and Grissom walked through the Whole Foods arm and arm. Grissom had never been much for the small, organic, healthy grocery chain, but Sara liked it so they did most of their shopping there. He was surprised at the array of fruits, vegetable, meatless products, and organic meats. He had tentatively bought two steaks on their first trip together. After he had grilled one, he told Sara he was never buying meat from any place else as he devoured the succulent, free range, steroid free, side porterhouse from a small farm in Texas.

Now she had drifted away and was trying to decide on Haagen Daz or Ben and Jerry's. He was just about to tell her that she needed to decide. She could buy whatever she wanted. Sara, used to economizing, would balk, but he would eventually win. He didn't want her or his daughter to ever be one of those women that had to put something back when they didn't have enough money, always holding their breath a little when they offered a credit or debit card. She was doing well fighting the high blood pressure. Full fat ice cream was her only real indulgence. She should be able to have that.

From the corner of his eye, he spotted a bevy of curves and thick dark hair. On another day in another time, he would have turned to look. Now he was too smart to and too happy to make the slightest movement. Sara not only had eyes in the back of her head. She had them on the sides too.

"Gil," came a low New Jersey accented voice.

He knew that voice. He knew that shape. He knew that woman. Kerry Konrad was an old flame that worked in the DA's office. She had dumped him for the state pathologist Rich Dawson saying that Grissom was repressed, not ambitious and going to die old and alone. He had thought she was probably right. Now, he was pretty sure that he was not repressed, just not in love with Kerry as he had once thought. He would not die alone. He had a daughter and maybe a wife. He hadn't figured that out yet, and he was as ambitious as he needed to be for a man that intended to spoil them both.

Grissom turned and gave her a quick smile surprised when she leaned in with a kiss on the cheek. "How are you?"

"I am wonderful," Grissom said softly, "You?"

Kerry held out a hand. "You know Rich and I are engaged."

"I heard. Congratulations. When's the wedding?" Grissom had also heard that Rich was bedding at least two other women. One of whom was pregnant with their second child.

"Next month in St. Barts. The clock is a ticking. I already started fertility treatments." Grissom gave her a benign grin. He had seen his friend Horatio Caine do it many times. It usually meant go away. 

Just then Sara slipped her arm through Grissom's. "I can't decide. I am getting all four." She dropped four pints of ice cream into the cart he was carrying.

Kerry stared at Sara's stomach and back at Grissom. Grissom worked hard not to stick his chest out. Sara smiled at the other woman. He wasn't sure if she knew Kerry, but thought she probably did.

"Hello." Sara said pleasantly.

Grissom spoke, wanting to cut the meeting short. "Sara, this is Kerry. Kerry Konrad, Sara."

Kerry looked confused for a moment. "I didn't know you had a daughter Gil."

Sara let out a snort and whispered something to Grissom about illegal activity. "She's not my daughter."

Kerry stared for several more seconds. Confusion creating tiny lines around her mouth and eyes.

Without knowing where it came from, he spoke again. "She is my fiancée. We are expecting."

Sara gripped his arm tighter but didn't correct him. He was sure to get chewed out by the time they got in the car. He would take the tongue-lashing.

xxxxxxx

The silverware made harsh sounds as Sara cut into her pasta. She had spoken exactly seven words since they had left the store.

"Will you put up the groceries please?"

"I'll make dinner too if you want."

"Great."

He watched her as she sliced a tomato, placed it in her mouth and chewed slowly. She didn't look angry. She looked lost and far off. She wasn't there with him. He cleared his throat. Sara went back to working on the angel hair.

"Are you mad at me?" he finally said.

Sara looked at him as if she had just realized he was there. "Mad at you?"

"Yes, are you angry with me? You aren't talking?"

Sara shook her head and gave a tense smile. "Why does everything have to be about you?"

Shaken by the comment, he worked on his own identical dinner save for the ground turkey. Irritated, he sliced into a meatball and worked it for a time. "Because everything is about you," Grissom said.

Sara looked at him, confusion darkening her eyes. "What…?"

"Because everything in my life is about you and the baby." He looked down at his plate. "Sorry, I expect too much. I shouldn't after all this time. After I made so many mistakes." He said trying not to let his hurt feelings show. It was Sara's turn to feel the iciness of the meal.

"Grissom…" Sara didn't know what to say. She was angry with Grissom only she didn't know if it had been because of his game of one-upmanship with his ex-girlfriend. You got a ring? Well I got a hot young babe who's having my baby. Did I mention we were getting married? I didn't? Well that's cause it's a great big lie. Have a nice day and have fun with those fertility treatments 'cause as you can see we don't need them.

The dinner lasted another ten minutes before Grissom left the table and went for a drive. When he returned the house was cold. Too cold for a cold natured pregnant women who often wore sweaters even in the middle of summer. He called out to Sara. Softly first, afraid of the answer then loudly afraid that something had happen to Sara or the baby. There was a note on his pillow, on his side of the bed. His side of the bed? When did he get a side of the bed?

_Grissom, _

I am at home. I think we both need a breather. We are fine. Stop rubbing a hole in your temple.

Smiling he removed his finger from his temple and dialed the number that had nearly been blotted from his mind.

"Hi'"

"We are fine."

"You're sure? You can come back. I will sleep on the couch."

He meant to say she could come home.

"Gris - I don't think…."

"I know. I am sorry. I was just worried about the baby."

Sara formed a silent oath but only said, "Yeah the baby" and broke the connection.

xxxxxxx

Sara was ashamed of herself. She was jealous of her own daughter, her own not even born yet daughter. She had prayed to God that she wasn't one of those women. Those women that was jealous of the joy and the promise that their daughter's lives held. That was her thought as she knocked on the front door of the townhouse.

Grissom opened the door half asleep. "Why didn't you use your key?"

"I need to talk to you."

"That's why you didn't use your key?" Grissom ran a thick hand over his unruly curls.

Sara, intent on her mission, walked to the living room. "Sit, Grissom."

Grumpily, he plopped down on the couch. Hannah Grissom would call him Daddy Bear when he would plod from his lair to tell his children that they had woken him, eventually being drawn into whatever antics that had woke him.

"Have you slept?" he asked Sara.

"Wha…yeah I slept, well most of the night. I sleep at night and during the day. Since I work only half shifts and because I am pregnant. Look. That's not the point. The point is why I was hurt or angry or whatever."

Grissom waited willing her to stop moving back and forth. "Okay…"

"I was hurt because you love the baby."

"I think this is one of those pregnant women things, or maybe I am still asleep."

She snapped her fingers in front of his surprisingly clear blue eyes. "I am angry with you for loving the baby and not me. I understand. I am over it. I get it. I was upset because you just loved the baby and not me. I was upset because I know that you have been so caring and so sweet just because I am having your baby. You did exactly the right thing. You should take care of me and be sweet to me. I am carrying the Grissom progeny. There won't be another one of those. Well maybe there will be, but this kid is a genius in the making. You are absolutely doing the right thing."

Grissom blinked and wondered if he was having an odd dream. He had them all the time. Popsicles not melting in the hot oven. Being lost in Warrick or Greg's hair with only the North Star to guide him. This did not appear to be a dream. Sara's rambling was par for the course. It was run of the mill Sara rambling, and he wasn't lost in a head of hair. He checked Sara's clothing. Fully dressed. No dream.

"Sara, as you may have noticed, I am a first time father, and from what I understand my sleep will be limited."

Sara went to apologize but Grissom's hand went up.

"No, let me finish."

She watched him carefully as he scratched his beard.

"Yes, it has. I understand why. Every move I have made. Every word I have said prior to this has been completely contradictory to everything I feel. I did not show you how I felt about you… how I feel about you. You are wrong. I love you, and I love my daughter. I loved you before my daughter and because of her. Now, can we go to sleep? Cause Daddy works a full shift to put bacon on the table."

Grissom looked at Sara. "Sorry, soy sausage, dear."

With that he stood and took Sara's hand and marched her down the hall. "You woke me up, and now you have to put me back to sleep again."

Sara laughed loudly.

**Thirteen Years Later**

"**Ew… You and Dad actually had sex?" Noah wanted to know as he tore off a piece of the crusty bread the he had helped his father make. He was often irritated by his parent's clinically discreet honesty. Old people.**

**Sara ladled the last of her the minestrone into her bowl. When Noah frowned she pushed the bowl towards him. Noah gave a gap tooth grin and dunked the bread into soup.**

**Grissom looked around at his brood. The bowls were empty, the bread all gone. "I supposed the three of you are still hungry."**

**They all grinned at him. "Pizza, Dad, you already have the crust made."**

**Grissom shook his head. "I don't know why I plan a menu."**

"**Poor house husband." Sara blew her semi-retired husband an air kiss.**

**He stood from the table and walked to the kitchen. He pulled the dough from a compartment in the refrigerator. **

"**Noah, sex is…."**

**Noah finished his father's refrain. "Natural and beautiful and should be saved for a committed relationship. Yeah, Dad, I know. You showed me the slides and the books, and you made me go to that class that Father Kilpatrick teaches where they talked about essences flowing into other people, and I will tell you and Mom if I want to have sex."**

"**No one is going to have sex with you. That one blue, one brown eye thing scares people," Hannah joked.**

"**You are just jealous. Uncle Warrick says it gives me character." Noah retorted. Hannah turned her attention to Sara.**

"**So, Mom, get to the part where Daddy spent lots of money on me." **

**Sara raised an 'I told you so' eyebrow at Grissom who pretended to ignore her as he spread sauce on the crust.**

"**No matter what I said to him. He was in fits. He just had this image that little girls…"**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Thanks to Sparkle Bear/Jade for pointing out the errors. Cybro. What can I say? That girl deserves more than a cookie she deserves a truckload of Godiva with Grissom driving.**

Baby Part 4

Sara couldn't sleep. She wasn't sure why. She was tired enough or maybe she was more fatigued. She ran a previously slender hand over her stomach and the thin material that separated her hand from her the flesh of her rounded womb.

Grissom had bought home the lightweight nightshirt when she complained of being hot while she slept. The thin linen material was perfect. Everything Grissom bought her was perfect. He bought perfect maternity clothes and perfect jewelry.

He read the right books, said the right things. He was going to be a perfect father. While she - she was scared to death. Her daughter must be horrified at the prospect of her as a mother. Understandably so. While Gil had one sane parent and a quiet steady childhood, she was a shaky sometimes-foster child that had fought her way out of white trash on smarts and false bravado. She was horrified that Mother Nature had chosen her. Well not horrified but ever so slightly freaked out.

Still she was excited about being a mother. She hadn't expected it, but it was a happy surprise. She was just afraid she wouldn't be very good at it. She had no example. Her mother wasn't a bad woman, just a weak woman, save that night when maternal instinct had driven to her murder. Laura Sidle had killed her high school sweetheart not because he had slapped her but because he had threatened Sara with violence. Her maternal instinct had been so overwhelming that what she wouldn't or couldn't do for herself she could for Sara.

Sara sighed and spoke softly to her daughter. The child was used to her mothers soft husky voice. She even seemed to like it. Maybe she would like having Sara as her mother. Maybe.

"Hey kid. Your Daddy bought you a room full of furniture. He did it without me but that's okay. In case you missed it I don't do girly girl stuff so well. He bought you this white distressed furniture. That means it's supposed to look old. Hell, my bedroom furniture was in vogue. Who knew? I was a little sad when he came home with all this stuff but it was okay. He says he got carried away in the store. He just went to look. I did pick out the paint color thought. I hope you like it. It's lavender. I thought that would be fun and different. You Daddy wanted pink but I won that round. We can't paint just yet. There are contractors coming this week to double the size of your room. What you need a bigger room for I don't know but I think it's my fault cause I told Grissom that I always wanted a big room when I a kid."

Sara didn't seem the form standing in the doorway.

"We need a name for you. Nothing weird. No Rainbow and I will not name you Heartflowe. It's an awful middle name and it would be a worse first name. I want it to be classic. I like my name. Sara Sidle. You probably already know anyway if you ever run for office or want to be more than a science geek you need a name that is strong. Your dad's is Gilbert Isaac Grissom. I call him Grissom. Lately I use Gil more. I am thinking about Hannah Maria for you. I thought about keeping the alliteration thing for you but I don't like any "G" girl names."

Grissom smiled in the dark. He knew she had something in mind but she wouldn't say what.

"Hannah is a palindrome. What's a palindrome? Well kid a palindrome is a word that reads the same backwards and forward. Neat huh? I can't nail down the exact meaning but it means favored grace or God's grace. See Hannah was a woman who thought she would never have kids but she did. She had a son that went on to become a great prophet. I never thought I would have kids but now I am having you and you are going to do great things."

Grissom shifted position ignoring his aching knees.

"Tell you a secret. I was pregnant once before. When I was about nineteen. I was stupid and started sleeping with one of my professors. Notice a pattern? Well your Daddy wasn't like Tim. Well Tim was an asshole and he saw me coming a mile away. Only Orphan Annie could have been a bigger target. I told him I was pregnant, he told me he would leave me if I didn't have an abortion. I did and he - he left anyway. I went to reputable clinic but I got some nasty infection and I was so depressed over that loser leaving me that I ignored the fever. It was just one of those freak things. There was some scarring and they said I would probably never have kids. I told myself it didn't matter but it did. I know… I know that you know I was thinking about doing it again. Truth is kid I couldn't have done even if it was just the two of us. You aren't going to look for the wrong kind of love like I did. I looked for love it in ALL the wrong places. 'Cept your Daddy. That's never going to happen to you. Know why?"

The baby kicked.

"Well, because your Daddy is going to be there for you so you won't do stupid stuff looking for some man for approval. I think he may be a little too overprotective but that's better than the alternative. Your middle name - your middle name is your grandmother's name. Not my mother but Grissom's mom. Her name is Maria. She's in Italy right now but she should be back in a week or so. I haven't met her yet. Yeah your dad and I, well let's just say we do things ass backwards. And no you can't use the word ass until you hare living in your own house."

Sara shifted. She was starting to relax as the fatigue turned into drowsiness. "She was a very good mother. She's deaf and you might inherit what she and Grissom have but if you do it won't be so bad. We will have to learn sign language anyway for your grandmother."

Grissom waited to see if she would say anything else. The room was silent for several minutes. Grissom walked over to the bed.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Hey. You finish with your conference call?"

Grissom nodded. "Yeah."

"Who was on?"

"Mark from Utah, Penny from Yale, Bug from the coroner's office in Boston, Jema in London and what's-his-face from Harvard."

"Tim?"

"Yeah," he said brusquely as his gentle hands moved curls away from his face.

Grissom made out her eyes in the dark. Grissom wasn't a fan of Tim's but he certainly new his name. "How long were you standing there?"

"A few minutes."

"I was going to tell you. I just didn't want you to think that I - I don't know. I wanted you to think that getting pregnant with you is special."

"It is special no matter what happened before."

OOOOOOOO

Grissom put the phone down and listened to Georgia's far off voice.

"Grissom. You there Gil?" The tiny voice eventually said. He put the phone back to his ear.

"How much is this going to cost you?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"No I don't know. I have no idea. I am making Hannah's room bigger but Sara might want to add a floor or something. She hasn't decided."

"Gah…" Georgia took a big breath.

"You can't remodel with no budget. It's ludicrous."

"I can and I will. If Sara walked in here and decides she wants buy up the block I will do that. If she wants a gilded bath tub, she can have it."

"What did this woman do to you?" Georgia whined. "You are my best client. You are conservative and sober and you don't take risks. You were going to retire with a princely sum. Now this brunette bimbo has stolen you heart and you brain and you are having kids and spending money without budgets. I bet she has breast implants and doesn't eat and is all girly with perfect teeth."

"Sara does not have implants. She eats like a horse and she has gap and she's well - she's perfect."

"Sounds like you're describing me."

"Does it?"

OOOOOOOOOO

Sara had made a decision. She wanted to expand the second floor and buy the empty lot that bordered Grissom back of his property. A big yard for Hannah.

"You cancel your lease?" he asked he took the blueprint from Sara.

"Um, not yet."

Grissom took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He worked hard not to sound irritated "You are the one worried about money. I can't pay for this place and the apartment."

Sara dark eyes flashed something akin to anger. "You can't pay for my apartment. Last time I checked you weren't paying for it. I do have a job. I do still earn my full salary."

"You know what I mean. There's no point in paying for two homes."

"You know, you just assumed I was coming to live with you. You never asked."

"Asked?"

"Asked, Grissom."

"Why should I have to ask? We are going to have a baby. We love one another. You live here now."

"I live here because my doctor said I had to." Sara said.

Grissom changed tactics. "That the only reason?" he said playfully.

"I don't know."

The answer surprised him. "You don't know?"

"No. I don't. I love you more than anything. I love you, but I don't want to live together just because we have a child. If I hadn't pregnant we wouldn't be this close."

Gil bit his lip. "Yes if you hadn't gotten pregnant. If you hadn't walked into my office in Boston. If I hadn't fallen in love with Peggy Pearson when I was 12 starting my whole brunette fetish. If. That's life. Life is made up of a bunch of ifs on top of some more ifs followed by consequences."

"I don't have to live here just cause Hannah lives here." Sara tried again. "I mean of course I will be here a lot especially in the beginning but I don't have to move in. Kids don't have to live with their mothers."

"Sara, I don't know much about this parenting business, but I know that there is no way that you are leaving me alone with Hannah for any significant amount of time."

Sara shook her head. "I trust you implicitly."

He watched her for a second then started speaking again. "Yes you do. You trust me with your life. You trust me to not lie to you. You trust me with a lot of things and there is no way you could stand to be half way across town if she's 2 days old or 22 years old. I don't know what this is really but you don't seem ready to tell me or maybe you don't know. I should have asked. I own that. I am sorry. I did it again. I have these things in my head and I just assumed you know what I'm thinking. So will you please give the manager your notice so we can move the rest of your stuff while the construction is going on?"

Sara nodded. She couldn't say why she was being stubborn.

She went back to the paint book. After a few minutes she looked. He was watching her. "What?"

"Did you love him?"

"Who?"

"Tim. Did you love him?"

"Grissom…."

"Sorry I shouldn't have asked. Sorry." His head ducked back into the blueprint.

Sara watched him for a bit. "I was in love with Tim."

His eyes met hers again. "He said you were crazy when I came to teach the seminar."

"_Stay away from her Gil. She's nuts."_

_Gil watched the young woman walk down the hall. He took off his glasses so that he could see the sway of her hips, the long stride of those muscled legs. Tim's voice recessed and the only thing he could see or hear was the brunette._

_Tim watched as Sara entranced his colleague. He didn't love her. He never loved her. Obsessed at one point but never love. The other man's blue eyes were soft and warm. He could love her. He probably would love her._

_Sara, aware that the guest lecturer had been watching her, turned around and gave Grissom a come hither smile. She wanted to piss Tim off. Only after she caught the bearded man's blue eyes did she not care about Tim anymore._

_Grissom murmured without thinking, "Woman like that is worth a little crazy."_

Sara interrupted the memory.

"He did?"

"Yeah. I should have seen through it." Grissom was glad they were talking about it. "It was right after I got there. Said you had stalked another professor. You were needy."

"The last part is right. I was very needy."

"He took advantage."

"Yeah he did." Sara acknowledged. "You didn't though."

"I wish I was so noble." He returned. "I was scared that you'd look at me one day and then look at Nick or Warrick even Greg and say, "what am I doing with the old guy?""

"Cause he's hot?"

Her smile was sweet and she finally looked relaxed for the first time in days. "I am sorry he hurt you. I am sorry that you had to go through all of that. I always knew he was an asshole. Just not how much."

"Does he know about us?" Sara wanted to know.

"Penny congratulated me on the baby while we were on the phone. He ducked out early."

"I shouldn't have done it." Sara said. "I should have at least given the baby up for adoption."

Her voice was shaky. He reached at and took her hand. "Sara, you were a kid. You had just gotten away from the crap at home. This guy told you he was going to be with you if you had the abortion. You did the best you could."

"It's just weird being so happy about this baby when I was so unhappy about the other one."

He kissed her forehead. "I don't want you to let this eat you up. You are not a bad person. It's okay."

"My roommate figured it out and told me I was going to hell." Tears slid down her face. "I figured she was right. She was always going to church and quoting scriptures. What did I know?"

"You are not going to hell. It doesn't work like that."

"I know that now."

"You do?"

"Yeah, if God was mad at me he wouldn't have sent me Hannah and you."

**Seventeen Years Later**

**Sara starred at the other slim brunette at the table.**

"**We talked about this. You said you wanted to do it."**

"**It's elitist."**

"**We talked about that too. This is not the sum of who you are and we found the most diverse group of debs. We talked about this Hannah." **

**Grissom sighed and folded his paper into thirds after twelve-year-old Noah kicked him under the table. Noah eyes shone with relief.**

"**So what's the real problem?" Gil said.**

"**There is no problem. I don't want to do it." The sixteen-year-old snapped as she shoveled cereal into her mouth.**

"**Bottom line. Is it elitist? Yes. That's why I had go into hock to pay for it all. I might have to sell blood to make it through debutante season and you are participating because we've paid for the dress, and the parties and invitations."**

**Hannah glared at her father. Grissom shrugged and resumed reading his paper. When the silent Saturday morning meal was nearly done Hannah finally spoke.**

"**I have to get an escort for the season."**

"**So. What about that boy you took to prom?" Her father wanted to know.**

"**Alan? He's so yesterday."**

"**I wasn't aware of his yesterdayness." The elder Grissom admitted. "I can't keep up. Who's your latest victim?"**

**Hannah turned to her mother. "Mom," she whined**

**Gil Grissom shot a look at his son who was absorbed in some handheld game. A boy likes either bugs or girls or in the case of Noah and Gil, both. A girl's needs, wants, and feelings changed every hour. **

"**There are no victims, husband, only volunteers." Sara said.**

"**Why don't you ask Rashad?" Gil Grissom wanted to know. "He's always dragging you to stuff when he needs a date. You are going to spend a lot of time with this person for months and who better than your best friend. Your Aunt Cath would be glad you could put those dance lessons to use."**

**Hannah balled up her napkin and clutched it to her chest with an angst filled expression. "Rashad! I am not asking him to go on a date with me or several dates. That's just ridiculous. Why would I want to go on a dress up date with him? He's like my brother. I mean he practically is my brother. I don't like him like that. He's not a real boy. So what if he's handsome and smart and makes me laugh. I don't HAVE to ask him out just cause he's the only boy in 11th grade that's taller than me. Why are you guys forcing this issue? He's JUST my friend. He's not boyfriend material."**

**Noah looked at his parents and back to his sister. The game made a tragic sound. "Are you crushing on Rash?"**

**A unanimous parental gasp and pale cheeks were filled with color. **

**Sara opened her mouth and shut in again when she heard the back door make a loud noise. **

**Lanky and soft-spoken Rashad Brown entered the large kitchen. "Alright. Just in time for breakfast."**

**He ruffled Noah's hair with long brown fingers and kissed Sara on the cheek and repeated the attack on Hannah's hair. **

"**Hey Hannah Banana. What's say we cruise the mall? We need to increase our profile for homecoming court."**

"**Homecoming court?" Gil Grissom asked.**

"**Yeah. Hannah's a shoe in but I need to increase my visibility so that I am an attractive escort option. Mom says I get a car if I become more social. So I am letting Han Ban lead me down the primrose path.**

**Rashad reached across the table and ladled a heaping spoon full of breakfast scramble onto Hannah's now empty plate.**

"**How much is that going to cost?" Gil wanted to know.**

**Sara narrowed her eyes. "Don't even start that. You created this monster, now you are responsible for it."**

**Hannah stared at the blond wood of the table.**

**Rashad Brown snapped his fingers. "Hey girl. What's wrong with you?"**

"**I don't want to go to the mall."**

**Noah's stared at his sister. "You got it bad and that ain't good."**

"**Whatchu talking about little man?" Hannah's best friend wanted to know. "Are you listening to those old CDs my dad gave you?"**

**Noah was arranging his hair with the help of a spoon smudged with jelly.**

"**Women like a diverse man. Smarts and great hair from Dad, Sense of humor from Uncle Greg. Nice guy appeal from Uncle Nick and cool from Uncle Warrick. What do you get? The sixth grade answer to Brad Pitt. Once I get my teeth fixed next year the ladies better look out."**

**Sara rolled her eyes. **

"**Come on Banana it's nearly noon. The food court's gonna fill up and my visibility will be limited."**

"**I don't want to go." **

"**Sure you do." Gil reached for his wallet and handed his daughter several folded bills. **

"**What's that for?" Hannah worked hard not show her panic. **

"**Buy yourself something nice." Brown eyes looked at the money then back to Rashad. Shopping beat out panic and they quickly left the premises.**

**Gil gave his wife a face splitting grin. **

"**What are you grinning about?" Sara asked.**

"**All of Cath and Warrick's cars have GPS and they have the ID numbers loaded on our computer." **

**Gil took in his wife's worried expression. "What's wrong?"**

"**I hope she's not distracting herself from the bad breakup with Alan."**

"**There was a bad breakup?"**

"**Dad, you gotta clue in." Noah said.**

"**I thought I was. What did Alan do?"**

"**Came to the summer dance with a Heather Locklear lookalike and then told everyone that he didn't like Hannah that much anyway cause she was skinny and had dark hair. The real reason is because Hannah won't put out."**

"**Put out? Where do you get this stuff?"**

"**Happy Days reruns on TV Land." Noah answered.**

"**I am glad I don't have jealously issues." Sara said picking up the empty plates Rashad and Hannah had left behind.**

**Gil snorted. "Yeah right."**

"**I don't."**

"**Oh come on, Sara, must I remind you…"**

**TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**A/N Cybro, Danese and Sassy rock!**

"I don't care what you say. They are a couple and you better tell Gris what you said to Sara."

Nick bit into his sandwich and looked away from his friend.

"You better tell Gris," Warrick warned again.

Nick shook his head and mumbled something unintelligible.

Grissom spoke from the doorway of the break room. "Tell me what?"

Warrick pursed his lips. Nick gave a nervous smile. "Warrick is overreacting."

"Is he?"

"Yeah."

"Why don't you let me decide?"

"Look Grissom, it might not be anything specifically for you to concern yourself with."

"Like I said, let me be the judge of that Nicky."

Nick was silent. Grissom looked at Warrick with a raised eyebrow.

"Nick told Sara that Meredith looks like Angelina Jolie, and that she has thing for you."

Grissom groaned inwardly. The CSI temp did resemble Angelina Jolie, and she looked at him with the same fawning expression Sara had so many years ago.

Grissom slid his beefy hands into his pockets and retreated. "No wonder you sleep alone at night, Nick. No wonder."

OOOOOOOO

Gil signed the last report and prepared to leave. He was late, again. He'd spent 12 hours crawling around on his hands and knees trying to figure out who had murdered a twelve-year-old honor student. He was tired and hungry, and the old knee injury was flaring up.

He reached absently for the phone. Third shift was usually when Sara turned from understanding co-worker to nagging girlfriend.

He looked at his phone. He pushed buttons and read the screen.

"Do you need anything? Food?"

"I am on my way right now."

His heart skipped a beat as he looked at the slim brunette with the full mouth standing in his door. Meredith Webber did not look very much like Sara. He was just used to seeing her standing there lounging in the doorway.

"Dr. Grissom?"

"Grissom, Meredith. No one calls me Dr. Grissom around here. Except for judges and lawyers. What's up?"

"I just want to thank you for letting me land in your lab for a couple of months. The moving around was starting to get to me. One week in Miami. One week in New York. It used to be fun. Lately, it's been tiresome."

"You don't have to thank me. You were a prefect fit for Sara's skill set."

"Yeah well thanks anyway." Her voice was less nervous now and something in it made Grissom stand up and pay attention.

She paused for a minute before crossing the threshold. "So everyone just calls you Grissom?"

"Everyone but about four people in the world. Catherine, my mother and two others."

"Ah, all women. So any word whether Sara is going to come back after she has the baby?"

"Not yet."

Grissom had been forced to replace Sara after she finally admitted that he and the doctor were right. As much as she wanted to forge ahead with work it was just too much.

"_How do other women do this?"_

"_It doesn't matter. You don't have to do it. Work, don't work, it doesn't matter to me."_

Meredith showed a row of even teeth. "I am not trying to take her job or anything. I just wondered. It's nice here. People seem to genuinely like one another."

"I understand and if anything comes down the pipeline, I will let you know. We can't keep good CSI's. FBI keeps stealing them. I'll make sure Conrad knows you are interested in something long term."

She nodded and took another step towards Grissom's desk, her hands positioned in her back pockets.

"Was there something else, Meredith?"

"Um well, gosh, this is embarrassing. I had it all planned out in my head. Now it just sounds stupid."

"I doubt that it's stupid," he said despite his trepidation

She gave a nervous smile and continued. "I probably wouldn't have the nerve to do this if you were my real boss, but I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime."

"No," he said a little too easily.

He said it so fast that he hardly had time to catalogue the briskness of the answer. Meredith's brown eyes watered a little, and he was reminded of Sara when she had asked him out years before.

"I am sorry, Meredith. That came out wrong."

"It did?" Her eyes brightened up a bit.

"I am very flattered."

"I don't know which is worse, that or 'I just want to be friends'."

"Well, it's the truth." He tried again. "I am…." He was what? He wasn't married or engaged. He was what?

"I have a family." He finally said.

"A family? I thought you weren't married."

"I'm not-uh, not yet." That was right, wasn't it? He just needed to get the ring and propose and actually do the deed.

"That's not what you said though. You said you had a family." Meredith intelligent eyes flickered with realization.

"Oh shit. Sara. Oh shit. I must be an idiot. I come in here asking about her job, and then I ask you out. I heard, but you know how office rumors are. Well of course you know."

He nodded with relief. "Where's there's smoke, there is usually fire. Mind if we keep this between us. We haven't had a chance to tell the team yet."

The woman stood quickly. She was all business again. "Sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about. Meredith?"

"Yes."

"Nick's single."

OOOOOOO

By the time he got home Sara was engrossed in what could only be described as full-scale pregnancy meltdown. Meredith had promptly left his office in search of Nick, where she told the young CSI that she'd asked Grissom out. He had turned her down and now she would like to give Nick a shot. Sorry for any misunderstanding. She hadn't known Nick was interested, hadn't known that Grissom was not.

Sara's eyes were red rimmed to match her nose and cheeks.

"If you want to go out with her, just go." She almost yelled as he crossed the threshold.

"I don't want to go out with her. If I wanted to go out with her, I would have gone." He shot back coming to settle next to her in the kitchen. His hot breath touched one bit of her hair.

He kept reminding himself that he had no one else to blame for his current situations. He should have surrendered years ago. Chased her like the lovesick fool he was and not worried about work, or the age difference or the fool she was bound to make of him.

She had been occupied with the baby's room, and that had helped the constant tension some. Unfortunately, they'd hired the only reliable speedy contractor in the country. Now it was a matter of the paint drying.

Black eyes flashed as she turned tail and stalked from the kitchen. "Oh! Then it's just me you don't want to deal with. It was me that you turned down for a date."

Experience has taught him to let her go. She would calm down. He could eat and gather his wits maybe order some jewelry, maybe a ring.

OOOOOOOOOO

When she finally came to bed, he was idly flipping through channels forgoing his usual poker for something less tense.

"Sorry," she mumbled taking the black rectangle from his hand and turning the set off.

"I don't know why you do that. You watch whatever it is for five minutes and then you are out."

"Ritual."

"Yeah. Look. I want you to hear me out. It's going to sound crazy but it's not I promise."

Bluish colored light caught one of her cheeks and her soft smile.

"Does it involve me getting lucky?" Grissom joked.

"Yes."

"All ears."

"I know - I know that I look like a tank."

He shook his head disagreeably but let her continue. "And I know that I can be difficult with the baby. Who am I kidding? I can be difficult no matter what. If you need - um."

He tilted his head to one side so he could see her mouth form the words. He did not like the way this was going and wanted to make sure that he completely understood what she was saying.

"I won't mind your needs – um, if you need to go and have your needs taken care of somewhere else. If you want to see this Meredith person or um, maybe Heather or something." The last words were said in a whoosh that he barely heard because his own voice was added to them.

"Sara!"

"What!"

"I am not going to go sleep with another woman while you are sitting at home pregnant with my baby. I don't have any needs that aren't being taken care of. Unless of course you don't want to make love to me anymore and even if you don't, I don't care. I'll jack off in the bathroom."

"But it's not like you'd be lying. You would have permission." Her voice belayed stress and trepidation.

"No!"

"Gris, just listen." A soft hand settled on his shoulder

He rubbed his temples hoping to stave off a migraine. "I listened. Don't you get the understanding of committed relationship? Committed. Maybe I should have you committed."

Cloudy looking tears filled her eyes. "I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do."

"Sara, I didn't mean that. I didn't mean that. I am sorry." He wrapped his hands around hers kissing them as he did so.

"I don't want anyone else. You are beautiful. I love your body, pregnant or not."

"I think I am losing my mind." She hiccupped.

"No, you are not losing your mind. You are pregnant, worried, scared, and you are trying whatever you think makes sense to keep your family together. It's okay."

"That's just it. It doesn't make sense. If I caught you with another woman, I would…"

"Yeah, let's not talk about what you would do. I know."

It came to him then. This wasn't about him or not trusting him. She focused the negative energy on him because he was close and safe. She knew that no matter how much she yelled and screamed, he wasn't going anywhere.

"Honey." He kept his voice low and soothing.

Her mouth was a whisper in his neck. "I am sorry."

"Ssh. I just want you to tell me what is wrong. What's really wrong?"

She cried for nearly an hour and he didn't move. He held her close and kissed her hair. Told her that he loved her, and he wasn't going to leave. She could tell him anything. She was safe. No one would hurt her ever again. He would protect her. They were okay. They were a family.

Finally, she lifted her head and peered at him with puffy eyes that took years off that made her look like a teenager. "I haven't told my mother about Hannah."

OOOOOOOOO

He flipped through the sheets of cheap white paper that Sara had printed out for him. Notes from her mother. Sounded like a James Patterson novel.

His eyes scanned the black taking in the occasional graphic. A heart here. A smiley face there. Always a pink heart at the bottom followed by "I love you to pieces."

He didn't know much about Sara's mother. The text said she was smart, still had a thirst for knowledge.

"_George W. is waving the prevailing wage for hurricane contractors. What is the prevailing wage, I wonder? Doesn't seem fair to an area that's already going through financial hardships."_

She was a mother through and through.

"_I hope you are eating enough. I had hoped adulthood would fill you out but it doesn't seem to have done the trick so maybe babies will do it."_

"_Dearheart, I know you love your job and that's a gift from God. I hope that you are getting enough sleep and eating enough. I do so want some grandbabies, and if you don't take care of yourself, well, that might not happen."_

"_Well that Nick fellow sounds like just a gem. Does he have a girlfriend?"_

"_I sent you cookies and a dry mix of the cider you like."_

"_The moonbeam crystals will cleanse your aura. Not that I know much about your aura because I haven't seen you in three months. What's a poor mother to do?"_

"_I can tell by the sound of your voice and the tenor of your words that your Mr. Grissom has a hold on your heart. Sara, dearest, forgive an old woman that wants grandchildren and a son in law to fatten up, but Mr. Grissom is what? Close to fifty now. He's never been married and has no children. I don't need to stars or the spirit guides to tell me that there is little hope for you and this man. That is my common sense, mother wit speaking. I have only a tenuous grasp on your Grissom. I know he loves you, but is it enough?"_

"_Love you to pieces, Heartflowe."_

Two messages that Sara had not responded to. One from the previous Friday and one from yesterday.

"_I am worried. I haven't spoken to you in two weeks and I get the impression that you are avoiding me. I can't imagine what would be so terrible that you have to avoid me. I am your mother. The mother who loves and would do anything for you. There is nothing so terrible that you can't share with me. After all I put you through. Staying with your father when I should have left. Please tell me what has happened. Please call."_

"_I read your cards last night. It was difficult with you so far away and my being so close. It seems that you are safe and happy. Very happy. I suppose I will do what all parents must do from time to time. I will back off."_

He looked up from the papers and put a warm hand on her belly. Hannah kicked. Sara jumped a little.

"She loves you very much." Grissom said finally. "Why didn't you tell me that you talk to her? I just assumed. You know what I assumed."

Sara nodded. "That she was in prison."

"That and that you didn't talk to her. Where is she?"

"Right outside of Palm Beach. She has a little spiritual shop. She went to jail for a year. Half way house and counseling for another two years."

"She sounds wonderful." He waved the papers.

"She is."

"Why haven't you told her?"

Sara shrugged. "I think that over the last decade I got my mom back. We spent so much time in survival mode that I lost that. We lost it. But now she sends me cookies and worries about me sleeping enough."

A smile played across Grissom face. "Worried that you were wasting your time on me."

"Yeah."

"So we should see her. She needs to see the whites of my eyes so to speak. In her case, the shade of my aura."

It was Sara's turn to smile. "I know she sounds…"

"My aunt puts a curse on my cousin every year. Well that and the evil eye. We can't pick our family, just love them."

The swelling was receding around her eyes, and she was calm and peaceful. He took her face in his hands.

"Feel better."

"Yes."

**Eighteen years later**

**Hannah looked from one page to another. Her father was typing furiously on his laptop. He was blogging. All the PTA Dads had committed to a year of blogging in order to connect with their inner selves and thus their children.**

**He had grumbled, but he taken to it like he did everything else. Effortlessly**

"**Dad?"**

"**Hmm."**

"**This says you got married October 31 the year I was born. We better get the right one, Cambridge isn't going to like any bastard children," she joked. "How will I ever get invited to tea at the palace?"**

**He hands never stopped moving. "That's right, dear. We didn't get married until right before you were born."**

"**What!"**

**Blue eyes met blue. "You knew that."**

"**I so did not."**

"**Um. Okay."**

"**What was that about? Waiting so late?"**

"**Um."**

**Sara voice came from the laundry room. "Yeah Gil, what were you waiting on?"**

"**The right time. The right ring."**

"**The right birthing room?" Hannah said easily.**

**He wagged a finger at his daughter. "That mouth is why we still get emails from teachers."**

"**She got it honest." Sara said sweeping into the living room trailing mud over the floor with her bare feet.**

"**Sara! I just cleaned the floors." Grissom sputtered.**

**She took the paper towel her daughter offered. "Sorry, honey. I tried to get it all off. And to think you didn't want domestic bliss."**

**Hannah looked from one parent to the other. "So you guys had a shot gun wedding?"**

"**Shot gun crystal. Your Grammy said she couldn't come home with me if I didn't marry her."**

"**She did not say that, Gil."**

"**Might as well have…"**

"**There was that card and those spooky friends of hers." He replied ominously. Hannah giggled at her father's raised eyebrows. **

"**They were college professors and their spouses. They were not spooky."**

"**I am a professor's wife, and I am pretty spooky." Grissom replied laughing at his own joke.**

"**Mom, weren't you too old for Grammy to tell you what to do?"**

**Sara snorted and concentrated on cleaning her toes. "Spoken like the young. What do you think your father would do if you came home pregnant and unmarried? I don't care if you are 45."**

"**I would so not do that!" Hannah's voice squeaked a little.**

"**Nope. Your grandmother made a very good point. If he wanted me so much then he should have married me. We had nothing but spit and an umbilical tying us together. "**

"**But what about me?" Hannah whined.**

"**What about you? Your dad didn't have to marry me to be a good father."**

"**Daddy, you were just going to let me live with the Witches of Eastwick? I would be so scarred."**

"**I did what I was supposed to do." Grissom replied.**

"**Why did it take you so long?" Hannah wanted to know.**

"**I had issues, honey. Bachelor that long. I still had growing up to do."**

"**You did?" The student visa paperwork was now forgotten.**

"**Hannah, honey, I hope that you have better sense than your mother. Fall in love with someone your own age who's not a curmudgeon and has basic social skills."**

"**I plan to fall in love with a man who is exactly like you." Hannah was certain. She flitted across the room and planted a kiss on her fathers white beard. **

"**No one could treat you better." Sara added tenderly.**

"**I waited too long…" Grissom wondered what he would do with his daughter in another country.**

**Sara sat on her daughter's bed. "Got everything done?"**

"**Yep, mailing it tomorrow." Hannah said.**

"**Good. I am very proud of you for doing this all yourself."**

"**Didn't you do all your stuff yourself?"**

"**I had to. You didn't."**

"**Yeah I guess you are right."**

"**Honey, your father, this is very hard on him."**

**Hannah sat up straight dropping the magazine she had been holding. "Me going to England? Well maybe going to England."**

"**You'll get in. You're Gil Grissom's kid."**

"**And Sara Grissom's kid."**

"**There is that." The two brunettes smiled at one another for a few seconds.**

"**You changed your father's life." Sara blurted. "Honey, you changed his life. He did things he would have never done before you. He took chances. He lived his dreams. You, Hannah Maria, changed him."**

"**I thought you changed him." Hannah said softly.**

"**I had something to do with it and who knows, he might have come around but you. He was giddy when he found out about you. He smiled all the time. He took better care of himself. He was living for more than himself."**

"**Should I not go?" **

**Sara shook her head. "No. He wants you to go. He worked so hard so you could live your every dream. I have been looking online and maybe… Maybe we could rent a place - not in Cambridge but maybe in London or maybe we could spend more time at the vineyard. He just needs to be closer to you."**

"**It's only seven hours by plane."**

"**Doesn't matter. He can't get a handle on you being in a different country. I just don't want you to think we are hovering." Sara sighed. "Even though we are."**

"**Mom, you and Daddy in the same country. Well, that would be cool. What about the brat? I mean how you going to work this?"**

"**Well, I was thinking we might home school, and he's doing so well with the fencing. There are a couple of European masters that have expressed an interest." **

"**We won't be there all the time, just part of the time."**

"**If you tell squirt I said this I will deny it, but it will be cool doing stuff together. Europe will be good for him, the burgeoning Olympic medalist."**

"**You sure? I mean you can say no."**

"**I am sure, Mommy."**

**Gil Grissom watched his them hug and murmur words he could not hear. He left to tell Noah.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Feedback would make me very happy. Thanks. **

The gravel made crunching sounds under their feet. Sara's feet were encased in fashionable cushioned clogs that look like something a confused Eskimo might wear since half her heel was hanging out. Grissom wore black loafers, the rocks pushing through rubbing his heals. A seagull flew dangerously close to Grissom's ear.

The split level house was yellow with white trim. Gil hung back as they approached the small structure. A hand painted sign hung over the door. It mimicked two they had seen on the road.

_House of the Spirits_

_Only Good Spirits Welcome_

The screen door creaked and they entered a surprisingly large shop. Shelves were lined with candles, apothecary jars and old fashioned patent medicine bottles. Crystals made sounds from somewhere that Grissom could not readily identify.

"Mom," Sara called out weakly. They had not called. Sara was afraid she would loose her nerve. They had packed an overnight bag. Grissom had taken seven days emergency leave and took his first road trip with his family.

The woman that padded from the back of the structure was not what Grissom had expected. Mothers conjured up gray hair and sensible shoes. Though even his own mother, older than this woman, didn't fit the description.

She was a hair shorter than Sara. Her wavy blond hair was simple and stylish. She wore little makeup on her pleasantly lined face. Curves that conjured up ideas of Marilyn Monroe and Jane Mansfield were clad in relaxed jeans. Her feet were covered in shoes exactly like Sara's.

She took in her daughter and the bear of man behind her for several seconds. Without any preamble she let out a little squeak and fairly hopped to hug her daughter.

She hugged Sara tightly and kissed both her ears. "Well. This is something," the older woman said.

She put her hand on Sara's bump.

"Mother's guilt does work, a baby and a visit. Well this is something." She pulled Sara close again finally looking at Grissom who was standing stiffly in the doorway.

His nervous smile was not returned. Oh boy, a mother and her cub. The stupidity of the idea occurred to him then, showing up at this women's door with her pregnant unwed daughter. Pregnant by a man she clearly didn't think was good enough for Sara.

"Mr. Grissom, I presume." She skated over the G like it stung her. "Well, this is something."

Grissom stuck out his hand. For a minute he was sure Laura Sidle come Laura Mann was going to hit him. When she did eventually take his hand, she covered hers with his for nearly a minute. When she finally released him she said, "Well, this is something."

OOOOOOOOO

Laura Sidle was a very nice woman. Everyone said so. No matter how skeptical they were about the new agey stuff she practiced they liked her and thought her to be sincere.

He could smell something warm and fragrant filling the addition to the house one could not see from the road. Sara was somewhere in the rest of the houses living quarters upstairs. The trip had tired her and her mother had insisted. It was a little past noon. The comfortable rooms were done in lush purples and red. He would have liked to poke around the shop and the house, but his presence in either place was clearly not welcome.

"Well, Mr. Grissom, this is a surprise."

"It's just Grissom." He said with more courage than he actually had.

"Yeah?"

"Yes." He gave a curt nod

"So you show up with my unmarried pregnant daughter, and we are all supposed to sing kumbaye."

Straight shooter like her daughter.

"Well…"

"I wrote you off years ago. Told her to write you off too, but then destiny is a fickle thing."

He nodded again.

"I knew you two were sleeping together." She took a sip of the wine she poured herself but had not offered him. "Sara didn't tell me, I could just feel it. She was gone before, but now her voice when she talked about you. Well, it dripped with sex. I thought that would blow over too because she didn't tell me so it couldn't be serious. I thought she was working you out of her system."

Fuck this. He reached for the bottle of wine and filled his now empty tea cup. Chianti. Good. Maybe he could just stay drunk for the next few days.

"She loves me." Grissom's voice was low and sincere. "I love her."

"With that and a quarter, you can make a phone call."

He gulped red liquid and waited for the pummeling to continue.

"I am guessing that neither of you planned this."

He shook his head. "IF I were a different kind of mother I would make you leave her here with me."

"What kind of mother are you?"

"One riddled with guilt cause her kid had a crappy childhood. One who'll do whatever she can to make her happy. Still want to buy her that doll in the window even though it's no good for her."

"I take very good care of her." Grissom didn't know what else to say. It seemed to be what was important to her, that Sara was taken good care of. That she got enough sleep. Ate enough.

"Yeah, well. She's stressed out. Hasn't been getting enough sleep. And she's been crying so forgive me if I don't believe you."

"How did…"

"How did I know she'd been crying? I am her mother. What was she crying about?"

"I'm not telling you. She was taking it out on me- that came out wrong. We had a fight." He poured more Chianti and gulped. "She wanted me to go sleep with another woman-shit!"

The woman looked like she might laugh. "You gonna do it?"

"I thought you were a psychic."

"Don't like you so I can't read you." She offered crisply running a finger around the edge of her wine glass smearing her lipstick print as she did so.

"No I'm not going to do it."

"She's messed up you know. Me and her father messed her up. Spent the last years trying to fix it, but she'd already fallen in love with you before I was back to myself."

"I do love her. I have for a long time, and I do take good care of her. I am going to be a good father. Better than we both had."

"The other baby wasn't yours, was it?"

"No. I would never." He looked around the room and focused on a picture of 12 year old Sara. "I have only ever wanted her to be happy. I thought I couldn't make her happy."

She topped off her own glass this time. "How did you two end up pregnant anyway?"

"I don't know. We were careful."

"If you say so. Now tell me what kind of life you plan for my granddaughter."

OOOOOOOOO

The bed dipped comfortably under his weight. She smiled and peered at… What was that? Not Grissom's handsome face but his feet, his slightly smelly black socked feet.

"Gil?"

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you."

"What are you doing?"

"Talking to Hannah. Your mom said I should talk to her more. So we can build a connection."

Something in Grissom's voice tickled a memory from right after Nick had been kidnapped. Too much wine for her, too much scotch for him. With some maneuvering she sat up. "You've been drinking with my mother?"

His face was plastered with a goofy grin. "WE had a few glasses of some very nice Chianti. It's not ours, but the family that makes it did a fine job."

Sara peered into his face flushed face. "You can't drink with her. She has a wooden leg."

"I was thinking more like hollow boob." Came his reply.

Sara hit his thigh. "Are you checking out my mother?"

"No. I was thinking we could fix her up with Brass. Get her off my ass. I must admit that I am slightly weirded out by the fact that she's only a few years older than I am. If Hannah comes home with a man my age, I think I might shoot him."

"You'll have calmed down by then. Have a more level head."

"Laura says I won't. She's says I will get worse."

"Mother talking or spirit guide."

"Both I think."

"That's a long way off." Sara said positioning herself next him.

"We still have birthday parties and kindergarten and all kinds of stuff before a husband and babies."

"I hope she looks like you."

A quick kiss made Gil smile. "I am sorry about being a bitch."

"Yeah, well. You get some bitch points considering. Honey?"

"How DID we get Hannah."

"Well, first the father bird shows his full regalia. He parades in front of the mama bird to show her that's he's stronger and prettier than all the other male birds," Sara joked.

"You know what I am talking about."

Sara kissed him a little longer this time slipping him a bit of tongue.

"Distracting the witness."

"Did it work?"

"It could. What gives?"

"I had only been on the pill a week. I lied."

"Oh." It was his turn to kiss her now.

"I could have gone out for condoms."

"I thought that if you left you wouldn't come back."

"It's not like I would never come back. It wasn't like it was our first time. The opportunity was going to present itself again."

"It was like we were on vacation. A hotel room. Champagne. I just felt a little giddy. You had on the blue shirt and you had just lost a little bit of weight AND you had just yelled at Michelson for leering at me."

"I was the strongest and the prettiest," he concluded.

**Eighteen years later**

**Noah and Gil walked briskly past the houses and shops of the overtly contrived neighborhood. Sara had been insistent. Sidewalks. They must live where people could walk where they needed to go. She had been right. His blood pressure was lower than all his other friends, his waste size had varied little. She was doing pretty good at keeping the old man around he mused.**

**Tonight his heath living was out the window. It was Sunday night. They night he and Noah picked up four pints of gelato for the family to pass between them while they watched the A and E's Sunday night line up of reality and cop shows. **

**In a few months, things would be different. There would be new rituals in different countries.**

"**Dad?"**

"**Yeah, son."**

"**What are we going to do about school?"**

"**I would need to talk to your mom, but I suppose we can piece together a decent education between the two of us."**

"**Oh." They slowed the pace. Gil wanted to give his son more time. As they stood on a corner then Noah resumed the conversation.**

"**What about Monty and Alan?"**

"**I think their parents will say it's okay for them to spend a few weeks at the vineyard. I'll pitch the educational angel. Besides, we aren't going to be in Europe all year. Four or five months. Half year at the most."**

"**Oh. That's good."**

"**And you will get to work with some very impressive fencers. You know Carla Vezalli only leaves Italy for competitions."**

**Noah stopped and stared wide mouthed at his father. Sweat slipped past his eyelashes and fell into his one brown eye. "Carla Vezalli …."**

"**Supposed to be a surprise. She wants to see you. She saw a recording from Seattle, and she wants to see you. She may-and she stressed may-take you on as a student."**

"**Carla Vezalli wants to see me."**

**Without any preamble he turned on his heals and headed back toward the Grissom house. His father trotted to catch up with him but stopped when he heard his son's words.**

"**I gotta practice. Vezalli wants to see me. I only have a few months."**

**Gil Grissom sighed. Time for new traditions.**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Gil wrapped the towel around his waist and padded back to the room. Sara was helping her mother with a small group of clients that drove in from Palm Springs every Thursday. He thought he might tag along with the husbands who did a lunch and a round of golf at a small but well appointed municipal course.

Well look at that, Gil Grissom being sociable. Meeting new people. Going to have lunch with the husbands. There was a panel card on the bed. He reached for it.

_Sunshine Jewelers _

_22 Freedom Ave._

_In the West Corner of the town square._

The back held Laura's plain, assertive green scrawl.

_My Sara is meant to wear emeralds. Hannah, diamonds._

_Laura._

OOOOOOOOO

Four women and three men filled the shop. The men were vaguely about Grissom's age. Some of the women were Sara's age and the others closer to Laura's. They were a mixture of hues and shapes and heights but presented the same general story. Semi-retired husbands. Stay at home or otherwise engaged wives and mothers. Like one another enough to spend part of a day together. Secure enough to let the husbands run off and play.

A compact Phillipino man came into view. He called to Grissom in clipped precise English learned in his primary Catholic school.

"You?" He grinned amiably and patted Grissom on the back.

"Robert."

"Someone managed to settle down and with Laura's daughter no less."

The Asian woman next to him offered her hand. "Isabella. You must be Gil. The boys were worried they'd have to pick up some vagabond on the greens."

"I might not be able to…"

Sara's voice came from over his shoulder where she was using a small stepladder to retrieve an apothecary jar filled with some kind blue leaf.

"What are you doing up a ladder?"

"Um, getting something."

"Down." Grissom said emphatically.

Sara grinned.

"Now please."

Sara stepped down pretending to be vexed. "I was only up two steps."

"I'm on thin ice with Laura. Please stay on the ground."

A man with an impossibly black beard called out. "Hey fellas. We gotta get going."

Grissom turned back to his former colleague. They had shared an office as TA's in grad school. "How about I meet you? I have an errand to run."

Sara was fooling with oils now letting the bearded man's red haired significant other smell first one concoction then another. "What errand?" she asked.

"Something for your mother. Hey can I buy some new clubs?" All the men were gathered at the door now looking relaxed yet anxious to get to the greens

"I thought you were going to rent some."

"Early father's day present?" His voice was light hoping the distraction worked.

Sara said something to the red haired woman that made her hoot. "I was thinking more along the lines of a card and Hannah's foot print in clay."

"Please." He gave Sara his best smile.

He was on the small porch now sunglasses perched on his nose. "Yeah, okay but remember we have a budget."

"Sure thing." She looked to ask him about his errand, but he was gone.

OOOOOOOOO

The white silver dress fell around Sara gracefully. Sections of satin alternated with matching silk pieces. The dress stopped just below Sara's ankles, and she wondered what kind of shoes a six months pregnant bride should or could wear. Sara's mother was working on adding a hidden piece of fabric to accommodate Sara's expanding waistline.

"I know you think you look like a whale, but you look beautiful and with this dress you can't tell you are pregnant."

Sara turned to the sideways and pointed to the swell of her belly.

Laura smiled. "Okay so don't turn that way. When I saw it last year, I knew it would be perfect for you. I just didn't know for what."

Sara's skin was rosy and smooth. Two days with her mother had rested her and put her mind at ease.

"What if he doesn't?" Sara whispered feverishly.

Laura sat up straight rubbing her back as she did so. "I honestly think he will."

"How do you know that? And I am not talking about your hocus pocus stuff."

"Hey that hocus pocus stuff is usually right thank you very much." Laura chided gently.

"Yeah." Sara admitted.

"I don't know if he will ask. I do know that he loves you, and he's good to you, and I believe he will do the right thing." Laura sighed and peered into her daughter's slightly plump face. "If he doesn't, you and Hannah are coming to live with me."

Sara groaned. "Mom!"

"Sara, you are not living the rest of your life with a man who doesn't want to be your husband. If something happens to him - if he drops dead right now, you don't have anything. You haven't built anything. He owns the house you live in. Whose name is on that spiffy Mercedes you two are driving? You live in a state were you can get married as fast as you can buy an ice cream cone. You don't even have to get out of the car if you don't want. I think he's scared, and I understand that. But he's a man's man. He's not some metrosexual.When he wanted you, he got you. When he made up his mind, his mind was made up and there was no veering from the course. I don't understand why you aren't Mrs. Gil Grissom."

"But what about my job and my friends?" Sara said weakly.

"You'll find another job. These wonderful people you have met will always be there for you." Laura was standing now, pincushion in one hand. "Darling, if you aren't going to live with your husband, you need to live with your mother. I know you are grown woman, but if you aren't with your husband, I want you here."

Laura lowered herself on the ancient stool and went back to work murmuring to Hannah as she did so. Sara's shoulders slumped, and her eyes bored a hole in her mother's head. Her mother's gray roots were starting to show.

OOOOOOOO

Blue eyes squinted at the burning ember.

"That doesn't look like a Benson and Hedges, Grandma."

"Sit."

He rested himself on the low railing across from her.

"Want one?"

"Random drug test. Hair these days." He ran his fingers through over his longish curls. Sara liked it long.

"Spoken like a man who can evade the drug test."

He waved a hand in Laura's direction." Sara knows you still smoke those."

"I don't know. I suppose. I didn't for years but these old bones. A dislocated shoulder here. A busted kneecap there. Got tired of being barely able to walk during the rainy season. Not a cure but some relief."

"Sorry." He didn't know what else to say.

"Nothing to be sorry about. You didn't marry the loser. I did."

"You sound like my mother." Grissom said ruefully.

"Good." Smoke that hadn't been held in long enough wafted from her nostrils. "I will try not to be bitter about the middle name thing."

He threw up hands. "Sara's idea. I just do what I am told."

"Probably my fault. Always told her that she must honor the ancestors. The oldest are usually the wisest."

"I guess that's why she is with me." Grissom said mildly.

"Maybe it is."

"What's she like-your mother?"

"Tough. Kind. She worked hard to make a life for us. Not easy for a deaf woman with an obstinate little boy who thought she had driven his father away."

"Count yourself lucky that he left."

"I do."

"My granddaughter. She's going to be very pretty."

"Between the three of you. That's to be expected."

"She'll have less of temper than Sara."

"Good. I am too old for much else."

"She'll be easier because you'll be wrapped around her little finger."

She made out a quick smile in the dark. He wondered if he could still beat a drug test. Not the time to find out.

"I won't take her away from you. I won't do that. Just considered me a charm bracelet she brought home."

Cackling a former smoker's laugh Laura took a long pull from the joint. "I know you are worried that you are too old for all this, but it's going to be okay."

"Okay?"

"Great. Hannah is smart and tough, and she thinks she's about the luckiest girl in the world."

"She tell you that?"

"As a matter of fact, she did."

OOOOOOOO

He dipped his fingertips in the cool, white cream. He rubbed a hand over Sara's warm flesh as Hannah made occasional movement. He tried to keep his mind on the task of banishing stretch marks. It was tough with Sara's lush backside laid bare.

He sniffed the mixture. "Roses and lavender."

His hand crept up and worked on the flesh under one full breast.

Sara spoke in a drowsy whisper. "Um, not sure. Mom said she put some shea butter in. Some jojoba oil. Not sure what else. She charges her clients like 70 bucks for one jar, but," Sara yawned and turned away from Grissom and he worked on her left hip, "she says it's worth it."

"Nice having a mother who knows these things." He ignored the stirring in his groin.

"Do you remember the first time?" Sara asked.

"The first time what?"

"The first time we made love."

He was inching closer to her, his heavy hands working on the outside of one thigh.

"I remember some of it," he admitted. "I don't remember all of it. How much do you remember?"

They'd all had too much to drink the night after Nick was saved. "I remember you telling me I was beautiful. That I was the most beautiful woman you had ever seen."

"Good for me."

"And then what?"

"After that you stuck your tongue down my throat."

"I am sure I was much more eloquent than that."

With some effort, Sara turned over and angled herself towards him. Her breasts touched his chest. Her smiling lips taunted him.

"No, honey, you were not much more eloquent. You told me I was beautiful and then you shoved your tongue down my throat."

"Shoved? I thought I stuck." He rubbed the cream into unattended skin. She had tiny freckles that covered the dotted only the left side of her body.

Sara clarified. "You stuck then you shoved."

"So my first kiss was crap?" He wanted to know.

"Pretty much."

"I hope I redeemed myself."

"You did. While the introduction to your tongue was marginal the follow up was outstanding. You remember that?"

"_You taste. You taste." His lips brushed at curls of hair as he tried finding the words for the muskiness. Of course there were not words._

"_Delicious," he said._

"_I can't imagine. Five hours in a bar wearing blue jeans and satin panties."_

"_Perfect." _

"_It's good you love me." She only half joked._

"_There is that."_

"_Confession?" Her dark eye lit up with curiosity. Always the investigator._

"I started there because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to do much else."

"Really?"

"The object of my very active fantasy life just let me feel her up in a hotel elevator fresh from the hotel bar where she gave me a foot job for the better part of an hour."

"I did that?" Sara questioned.

"Not that anyone noticed. Greg was hitting on the bartender by then, and Nick was dirty dancing with a brunette from Sacramento. And Warrick had shoved his own tongue down Catherine's throat. You still think they are doing the dirty."

"I am telling you when I walked into the supply closet, his face was a millimeter from hers. What else do you remember?"

"I remember that I told myself that when we were both sober, we'd have a proper courtship."

"Well why didn't you?" Sara sighed.

"Because you left and you were so casual, I thought you had worked me out of your system. Changed your mind."

"I left because I needed a few hours to myself. I expected you to call or something, but when you didn't, I told myself that I was thoroughly modern and could deal."

"We are silly, aren't we?" Sara wondered as she turned onto her back watching Gil as he closed the jar and began to work on the buttons of his shirt.

"What are you doing?" Sara smiled at him.

OOOOOOO

He walked down along the sand with no shoes, and his shirt half buttoned. Khaki's rolled up to his calves; he wondered why he hadn't bought lighter clothes. They had been at Laura's for three days and nearly every line on Sara's face had receded, her ankles were no longer swollen and she looked better than she had in weeks.

He'd not bought the ring as he anticipated when he left for the golf excursion. He'd gone into the shop recommended by one of the professors, a part time gemologist. He had nearly bought a two-carat emerald surrounded by diamonds but he could not do it. It was perfect for Sara. Brilliant, full of fire, not too unconventional. He'd had his card in his hand and was nearly ready to pay for it when the sweat on his hands caused it to hit the counter.

He looked at his watch. Sara would sleep another hour or so. Then she'd be hungry, and then they would make love after and she would sleep soundly for the rest of the night. She needed this, a steady routine. She didn't need him traipsing in at all times of the night and day waking her because he wanted sex, or he needed to talk.

He'd been fooling himself. He'd not taken care of Sara. She was pregnant and should be pampered and cherished. Hell, she needed that when she wasn't pregnant. Some husband he would make.

He did not see the woman fall into place with him until she kissed his ear.

"My serious Gil Grissom. Whatcha thinking about?" she asked tugging at one of his curls.

"You and Hannah."

"You looked so serious. I wonder if she is going to be serious like you." Sara turned and faced him. He stopped moving.

"You are going to fall."

Sara shook her head. "You, baby, me."

"Cause well-you have my baby in there. Now no fooling around, walk straight."

"I am walking straight just backwards." Sara saluted him impishly. "Yes, Sir."

She giggled at the falsity of his stern expression.

"I know you have been telling Hannah how to get over on me, and I don't appreciate it."

Sara tugged him closer to the water. "She would have to be blind, crippled, and crazy not to know how to work you."

The water lapped at their feet and he scooped down to pick up a shell.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Grissom asked mildly as Sara squinted at something in the sand.

"I am going to put that in her book." Sara held up a peach colored shell.

Grissom squinted at the shell. "What is that doing here?"

"What?"

"Species isn't indigenous to this area. Leave it to you, honey, to find something that doesn't belong without even knowing why."

Sara grinned. "I don't miss work as much as I thought you know. I miss the guys and even Catherine. You tell her I said that I will disavow all knowledge."

"She misses you too."

"Maybe we can have lunch when we get back."

They were moving again now hands tightly wound. "Me playing golf. You having lunch. What happened to us? We used to be so…"

"Odd?"

"I was going to say eclectic but that will do."

She broke away from him and for just a second he remembered the Debbie Marlin case. She was so young, and he was… well he was too old to be starting a family. Most men were winding this part of life down.

"Honey." The seriousness of his words was carried away by the tides. He repeated himself as Sara made a dash for the water again.

"You have to come play with me. Pregnant woman's prerogative."

He walked out to join her.

OOOOOOOO

Grissom hung up on Conrad. He hadn't done that in what-five years? He pressed his forehead against the phone.

"I know exactly what you are thinking, and you are not leaving her here."

Without turning around, Grissom spoke. "Laura…" he sighed. He tried again. "She needs to relax. She can't do that in Vegas. You take better care of her than I can."

A sharp finger tapped him on the shoulder. "I know it seems like that. You are doing a fine job.'

"No, I am not. Besides I thought this is what you wanted."

"Sometimes a mother has to do a little pushing."

"So 72 hours and I am in."

"In a word, yes. You love her. She loves you. That's important between the two of you. As a mother, I want to make sure she's safe with you. That you can provide for her, that you respect her. That you need her."

Some insect flitted near Grissom ear. He clutched for it without looking. Walking to an open window he released the tiny black bug. "He'll die if he stays inside."

The irony of his words was not lost on either of them.

"Want me to tell you how this is going to play out?" Laura asked.

He gave a somber nod.

"You leave her here. She cries because you left, and she thinks you are trying to ditch her, and she gets depressed. You get home and become so somber and morbid that your friend the red head, um Catherine?"

"Yes and she's mostly blonde. These days anyway."

"She has to kick your ass for like the 100th time since she's known you. You drive back here. By that time, she's mad as a wet hen, and you have to grovel and buy lots of ice cream and shiny things. No matter what she says, she loves shiny things."

Laura walked closer to her would be son in law. "Whatever the issue is, just figure it out and deal with it. You are too old for this shit."

**19 years later**

**She was gone. Her little girl was in Cambridge, England. Yes, they would be in Europe soon enough, but Hannah was already there. Who would brush her hair when it was horribly tangled? Who would make sure she had her inhaler? What if she caught a cold? Would she know the right medicine to buy? **

**Gil walked softly to where his wife sat on the pale lavender comforter. **

"**Honey..."  
**

"**Don't you dare say it Gil Grissom. She is my first-born. My baby. The baby I never thought I would have. I can sulk and wallow as long as I damn well please. I should have smothered her. Made her go UNLV. Not let her date. And whose idea was it to let her wear lipstick? She doesn't need any enhancement. She's stunning."**

**He slipped a dark leathery hand in Sara's. "For the record, you said she had to date and live her life. I was not particularly thrilled with the pink haired boy, but…"**

"**His name was Robert, and his hair was not pink. It was very light red." Sara corrected.**

"**Whatever. She's going to be fine, Mom. She's going to be wonderful. We gave her everything she needs to face the world. She's confident, kind, generous, loving…"**

"**And smart, don't forget smart."**

"**She's better prepared to be on her own than either one of us was. You did it because you had to and I did it because I didn't know what else to do."**

"**You gave her that. She had a daddy, who loved her unconditionally. You know what it's like, those girls who go thought life searching for a daddy."**

"**We gave her that. I nearly made a mess of it all."**

**Sara sighed and dropped her head to her husband's shoulder. "No you didn't. I used to wonder what if this or what if that. Now I know we are fate. No matter what we are fated."**

"**Do you realize that we are alone in our home? How much does that happen? One down and one to go."**

"**Don't remind me." **

"**There is an upside to this."**

"**Oh yeah."**

"**We can play stripper and wealthy patron for the next two hours."**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N Cybro and Danese what would I do without you guys? Sigh**

Chapter 8

Laura looked up from the small work area she used just off the kitchen. She took in her daughter's appearance as she leaned against the doorless entrance. She silently thanked herself that she had invested the money to remove all traces of lead paint in the building.

"How much do you guys have sex? What are you up to? Three times a day?"

Sara's rolled her eyes. "Mother please."

"What? I can't help what I see. You have that red glow and it's nearly blinding on Gil. My goodness I thought I might give him something for virility but he certainly doesn't need that."

"Mom please." Sara tried again.

"Do you guys have this much sex at home?"

I will not do this to my daughter, Sara silently vowed. "No, we don't have this much sex at home."

Laura dropped her head and went back to pummeling some pink hued leaf. "How much do you have?"

Sara shrugged and stared at the jars that lined the walls. "I don't know. I guess once a day."

"Who would have thought, a man his age? Wow. If I could find a man that could have sex twice a week I might start dating again."

"What happened to Leon?"

"All talk. No action and I do mean no action. I think it's a curse having a sex drive at my age. I might have to do a Demi Moore though I really don't want to. I want to date someone that is actually old enough to remember the Beatles on Ed Sullivan."

Sara felt bad. Her mother deserved a little romance. Not for the first time she thought of Jim Brass and wondered about his sex drive. "Mom I can't believe that you look like that and you can't find a date."

Laura smiled. "Thank you sweetheart. I think you made my year." Laura stopped what she was doing and leaned back. She blew a few blonde strands from her view.

"I am glad you didn't turn out flakey like me."

"You aren't flakey and if you are I am flakey too."

"No dear. You and your Grissom are very straight and narrow and reasonable. You have important jobs and you do important work. Very important. I am very proud of you."

Sara shook off tears. "Your work is important too. Why do you think I became a scientist?"

Laura eyed the pretty mother to be. How had she produced such a sane, smart creature? "Honestly because it's the farthest thing from what I am. You were exactly right."

"No. Because of what I saw you do. You just knew. You knew what made what work. You didn't need any books or recipes. I wanted to know like you knew."

"That's it kid. You made my decade."

OOOOOOOO

Sara was very proud of her composure. The man she loved had just told her that he leaving, going back to their home without her and she had not raised her voice. She had not cursed or bellowed. All and all she was doing quite well.

"You are not leaving me here," she said a little too softly.

"Exactly. I am not. I am going to work this case then I am back." Grissom lied. "You need time with your mother. I will be back in exactly seven days. Seven. Maybe before."

"You are not leaving us here. You are not Grissom. I go where you go and you go where I go. That's it. Now close my damn suitcase and take it to the car while I kiss my mother goodbye."

He walked to where Sara had tossed in the last outfit that Laura had bought for the baby and took her face in his hands. "For just a second imagine this is a case."

"Don't you even…"

"Just listen. If there was a man. An older guy. Let's call him, I don't know, Griffith. Everyone calls him Griffith. His first name is Gary."

Sara eyed him suspiciously. "Okay"

"He's around 50, smart. Maybe he specializes in infectious diseases."

Sara raised an eyebrow. Grissom mirrored her adding a mocking expression.

"Something other people just don't get. He is actually a well known expert in the field."

Sara shoulders relaxed.

"The thing is that there is this woman. There has been this woman. There has been this woman for a long time. Since he was much younger. Since his hair was mostly black and he didn't' have to worry about his cholesterol. In the course of this case we find out that they have been sleeping together fairly regularly. He's old but not dead."

His voice was low and soft now. He kissed her quickly and softly. "So there's this old guy."

"Point of clarification." Sara said. "Mature."

"Noted and appreciated." He took a breath and continued. "So they start doing the dirty. Her brother went missing for few days and the stress of it all. Well it just unleashed all these emotions. Emotions he had been squashing with work and what he convinced himself were good intentions. And the after her brother gets out of the hospital they all get a little crazy, drink a little too much and he does everything he always wanted to do. This leads to that and pretty soon they are sleeping together regularly."

"We, Grissom and Sara, uncover that they are doing so exclusively. We talk to their friends and co-workers and everyone is of the mind that he has been crazy about her for ages."

"What about her?"

"Well they think she's crazy about him but he's much more obvious. Openly drools and such."

"I like him."

"Yeah, well you would."

"Why are we investigating them?"

"A vial of a deadly influenza strand has gone missing. The FBI had him under surveillance. Utterly boring at first until they see him and this minx of his and they think there may be more to him than meets the eye. Perhaps the mild mannered scientist is really a spy. He certainly isn't very mild mannered considering how he behaves when she's around."

"She into diseases too?"

"Her specialty is Black Death."

"I like her even more. She must be a genius too."

"Of course."

"Why are we called in?" She was enjoying the game.

"We're called in because he lives in Vegas."

"You two should know one another. I thought all the geniuses met once a month."

"Met him a couple times in court but I didn't like the way he looked at you."

"Ah."

"So we know they have the hots for on one another and seem to be doing a pretty good job of dousing the flames. A few weeks into the investigation you notice something."

"I do?"

"You do. She is starting to wear bulky sweatshirts. I think it changing seasons. Turns out that the old guy…"

"Mature gentleman." Sara corrected.

"Sorry. The mature gentleman is packing a bit of a punch. He managed to get her knocked up. Much to the chagrin of several young stud FBI agents. One of them by the name of Grant. Wild hair. Funny guy. Does a lot of undercover work at raves."

"I like him."

"You would. So she's pregnant with his baby and he is over the moon. He's got the woman of his dreams and a baby on the way and it's more than he could have ever hoped for but he starts acting suspiciously."

"How can you tell?" Sara snickered.

"Well. He's willing to be without her for longer than three hours."

"Maybe he's just scared." Sara said sadly.

"He was scared at first. With the baby and this wonderful woman."

"What's her name. This woman?"

Grissom thought for a moment. "Her name is Samantha. Samantha Stewart. They are having a girl."

"Name her yet?"

Again he considered. "Ava."

He waited for Sara to say something else. He continued. "If he was really as scared as he should be, how do you suppose he would act?"

Sara's watched him uneasily. "He would retreat. Stop talking to her like he did in the past. Not share with her."

"But he's still sharing, even met her mother."

She looked down at her hands a back up at him again. "It seems for the first part of this relationship you were saying sorry and now I am saying I am sorry."

He held up a finger. "I not finished with the case madam."

"Sorry," Sara replied.

"So he's not doing any of that. He's meeting her mother and trying to share with her all his fears but he's sneaking about a bit."

"What about their friends?"

"They know something is amiss. They are after all very smart people. You can't really hide Ava. He just wants to do something special for her in front of them for all the times he hid his feelings."

"She knows that I'm sure."

"So why would he want to be away from this wonderful woman for more than a few hours?"

"He must be hiding something from her." Sara clapped her hands. "A surprise. Why can't I come? I won't be nosey. I promise."

He laughed at loud at that. "Sara Sidle you can't help it. It's in your marrow."

"Yeah" she agreed. "I suppose. I do like spending time with my Mom. It's nice."

"Just give me a few days. Please." He pleaded.

"Okay."

OOOOOOOO

Gil Grissom leaned his head against the cool wood of his front door. He closed his eyes. Leaving Sara was a dumb idea. He wanted to turn round and pick her up. He was considering doing just that when he caught sight of the luggage that lined the front hall. Six perfectly matched pieces of Loius Vatton luggage. A pattern they only sold in Italy. Shit. Maria Louisa Bonacelli Grissom.

**18 years later**

NoahsAdvance: Where the heck have you been? Did you get my text? I sent it five hours ago.

PalindromeOne: Sorry but I was you know acclimating myself to a new country, unpacking, buying books, sleeping, recovering from jetlag.

NoahsAdvance: I can't believe you left me here with them.

PalindromeOne: Them being Mom and Dad

NoahsAdvance: Who else?

PalindromeOne What's up?

NoahsAdvance: I came home early from practice. There was a bomb threat and Chad's mom was waiting so she just dropped me off and …I can't even say it

PalindromeOne?

NoahsAdvance: I think they were having sex.

_Silence._

NoahsAdvance: Hello!

PalindromeOne: Sorry I had to go puke. What were they doing when you got back?

NoahsAdvance: Well there were dollar bills in the hallway. Actually there were dollar bills, some fives, a couple of tens and a bunch of 20s

PalindromeOne: Which I am sure you pocketed.

NoahsAdvance: You wouldn't?

PalindromeOne: Go ahead.

NoahsAdvance: So I am standing in the hall counting the money at that cherry table thingy. I am going to go and tell them I am home and ask if I can keep the money. I figured it fell out of Mom's purse or something.

PalindromeOne: K

NoahsAdvance: So I hear this jazz music and I hear Mom giggling and Dad is talking all low.

PalindromeOne: Yeah.

NoahsAdvance: Dumb me I think nothing of it so I round the corner. And there is Mom in her underwear. Not Mom underwear but black with high heels.

PalindromeOne: Ew

NoahsAdvance: Dad is sitting there on the bed wearing his boxers. I think I screamed. I locked myself in my room. I am never coming back out. Mom left my dinner outside but I will starve before I look them in the face again.

PalindromeOne: Did you think they didn't have sex?

NoahsAdvance: Dad is old as dirt and Mom is well my mom.

PalindromeOne: Humans are some of the only species that mate for life.

NoahsAdvance: Gee that makes me feel better.

PalindromeOne: Well at least they weren't actually have sex…

NoahsAdvance: True

PalindromeOne: Yeah you have to leave your room sometime.

NoahsAdvance: No I don't. I'll order pizza and they can deliver it to my window. I can do my homeschooling online. It won't be so bad.

Palindrome: I have to go. There's a welcome thingy downstairs.

NoahsAdance: Bye

PallindormeOne: Love ya

NoahsAdvance: Ditto


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Gil stood in his kitchen feeling very much like the 10 year old whose snake had escaped and found residence in his mother's bathroom. His olive skin was tinged with pink. His mouth was dry and he was fumbling as his hands and mouth fought to explain.

"It's good to see you," he said. His brain couldn't sign right now. He was barely able to speak.

"I thought you said you would call if you were going to stop in on your way home."

Maria stood on her tip toes ostensibly to plant a kiss on her son's cheek. The hug and kiss felt a little distracted to Grissom.

"How long have you been here?"

"I don't know, three hours or so." Her familiar voice filled his ears. The odd mixture of a native Italian speaker gone deaf never failed to comfort him. Even under what was bound to be a tense situation, it felt good. "I called work, but Catherine said you were on vacation. I was surprised but who deserves it better than my dear, sweet son."

_Was that sarcasm?_

"I tried to call you a few times."

"Did you?" She still stood stiffly in front of him.

"Yes." Why was this so hard? This was his mother. She loved him unconditionally. She would be happy about the baby. She would. Of course she would.

"I kept missing you, and you didn't seem to be checking your email."

"I hardly do that when I'm away. Email usually means work."

He nodded. "Are you tired? Do you want to take a nap? You must be tired."

Maria Grissom ran a tiny hand over one unruly red hued curl. She pursed her lips making the lines around her mouth more prominent. "That would be nice, dear, but I don't think I'll fit in a crib."

Gil blinked holding his eyes close for a beat until Maria's hand pulled at an ear willing him to open them.

"Ow!"

She took a deep breath and let it rip. "I come to see my only son. The son I love dearly. My only child in this world. The child who never married. Who said I should give up on grandchildren and a daughter-in-law. I so wanted a daughter, but I told myself if he was happy with is bugs and his solitude…"

"Insects."

"Ssh and don't you dare speak until I finish."

"Yes, ma'am," he mumbled.

"I come to visit said son and immediately I notice that his house is different. It's actually a home. There are throw pillows and rugs. The walls have more than butterflies on them and my god awful paintings."

"Mom, you are a terrfi.."

Hazel eyes glared. "What did I say, Gilbert?" Her petite frame heaved with effort. "You know other mothers complain at bridge. They talk about their children not calling, feeling forgotten. I can always say with pride that my sweet boy calls at least twice a week. He sends me emails and little presents and every year we spend an entire week together in Vegas where he wines me and dines me and treats me like a queen. This sweet boy sandwiches me in between his important work--helping crime victims. This year I might even get an extra week in when I come back from Italy. That's what I told my friends because my boy is worth bragging on. So what if I don't have a daughter-in-law or grandchildren."

She took another deep breath and continued. "Silly me. I must have missed something because apparently my son, the one I was in labor with for 24 hours has been keeping something from me. I turn up at his house and there's life and flowers in the window boxes. There are two kinds of breakfast cereal and a paisley umbrella in the front hall."

Gil swallowed hard. He hadn't known how his mother felt about his life. It all seemed terribly sad to him now. His house had not been lively. No reason for it to be. The people he loved rarely visited. All the joy in his life had been beyond these walls. His townhouse had been a holding cell while he waited for the next shift, the next dinner with Brass and Catherine, the next ballgame with Warrick or Nick, or the next time he saw Sara.

What had he been thinking? That this monastic existence was better? Only it hadn't been monastic. He'd been living, just not here. Why had that seemed alright? It was like the separation of church and state, only state you still swore on the Bible when you went to church and there was that nation under God or Buddah or Allah. He had always thought of himself as a loner that kept people at bay.

"And I am tickled because my son has a girl and it looks like she might be in for the long haul. Maybe she even lives here. Then I go to my usual room. The one I stay in year after year intending to take a nap only there's nowhere for me to lay my head. Because-my-dear-sweat boy has neglected to tell me something very important. I am going to be or maybe I already am a grandmother. Now Gilbert," she paused, "you may speak."

"Mom, I tried to call you. I kept missing you and then Sara..."

"Sara." Maria Grissom took a deep breath. Gil watched worriedly as she took a seat in overstuffed chair that had come from Sara's apartment. Sara loved the chair. She was silent for several moments.

"Sara," she repeated as she turned her eyes up to him.

"Yes. Sara."

"Thank God. I thought you had messed that up permanently after you turned her down for dinner."

"What…?"

"I remember the first time you told me about her. I could barely keep up. It was the fastest you ever talked, the fastest you ever signed. You were all over the place."

Grissom took a seat in a chair that complimented the dark green one his mother sat in. He'd bought it four weeks after he came to Vegas.

His mother continued. "You were so gone on her. I thought, well I thought this could be it. When you asked her to move here I was sure this was it. I was sure you two would finally.."

She took his large hands in hers. "Good for you two. I hope my granddaughter has that voice and that gap you went on about."

"You remember that?"

"Of course."

"Sara wanted to go tell her mother, and so I just didn't think about you stopping in."

"So I am not the only one being kept in the dark."

"No."

"Peas in a pod," she said mildly, her hazel eyes shining excitedly.

He took her hands in his. "Mom, I'm sorry. I tried to call you, I swear I did. I called Uncle Vito, and he said you were in Florence. So I called Anna and she said you were in Rome shopping. It kept on like that. Forgive me?"

"Where's my granddaughter?"

"Still inside her mother."

"At least I didn't miss that much."

"Where's Sara?"

"At her mother's in Palm Beach. I'm going to pick her up in a few days. I'm working on a surprise."

Maria's eyes showed disappointment. "Would it be okay if I stayed and waited on them? Maybe go with you to pick them up?"

"Of course." He took her hand and led her to the couch, rearranging throw pillows as he did so.

She held his hand up her face and kissed it. "I don't see a ring, but I can't have everything I guess."

"I'm working on it. We didn't-" he stopped and tried again. "This all happened extremely fast."

Maria Grissom turned her head from one side to another. "Spit it out, darling."

"This is hard."

"I know," she said softly.

"Sara and I weren't serious. We were, um-dating casually."

"Yes."

"Then the baby happened, and the doctor said she needed to take some off."

Maria frowned. "She's fine, Mom. She started staying here because her doctor didn't want her be alone. She was four months by then. The next thing I knew we were living together and Hannah's room was finished, but we had neglected to tell you or Laura."

"You love her." It wasn't a question, but he answered it anyway.

"Yes."

OOOOOOOO

Brass walked into Grissom's office without greetings or preamble.

"Gimme a mirror," Brass demanded impatiently.

"What?"

"A mirror. Reflection. Glass. Hurry up."

"What makes you think I have a mirror?"

"You worked with Sara for nearly six years. A hair was never out of place. You have a mirror."

"I have great hair. I don't need to primp every hour of the day."

Grissom reached into his desk and pulled out a hand held mirror. Brass pulled a small black comb from a jacket packet. He ran a comb over his black hair.

"You know that black hair is bit ridiculous." Grissom remarked.

"What?" Brass licked two fingers and ran them through shiny locks.

"It's shoe polish black. No one has hair that color at our age."

Black eyes flitted his way for a second. "You're one to talk. At least I didn't leave with a head full of grey and half deaf only to return with a perfect hearing and salt and pepper curls. I know that beard is to cover up the weight you gained too. Very Hemingway."

"I thought so too. What are you doing?"

"Looker in the lobby. Blonde. Vavoom curves. Don't' make 'em like that anymore. Old enough to remember when Sinatra was still skinny."

Grissom stood trying to stop a smile from playing over lips.

"Where are you going?"

"To see the looker."

"Oh no you don't. I can't compete with the Hemmingway big bear of a man deal. I'm a little Greek guy with no curls and a bald spot. You are staying right here."

"It's my lab, I'll go where I want." Gil said easily following his friend's short quick steps.

The blonde stood as she caught site of the two men. Brass reached her first and gave her his best I am one of the good guys smiles. "Excuse me, miss. I am Lieutenant Jim Brass may I.."

Jim Brass watched crest fallen, as the attractive blond stood and planted a kiss on Grissom's cheek.

"Gilbert, I hope all this clandestine activity doesn't get the two of us in trouble."

After fussing with Grissom's collar and telling him he didn't look like he was eating enough she caught sight of Jim. Gil watched her perk up. He wondered what Brass's current aura was saying.

"Hello," Laura said brightly.

Brass returned the pleasantry without the vigor he'd felt a few minutes before.

"Brass, this is Laura. Laura, this is my friend Jim."

"Pleased to meet you." Laura said offering a delicate hand.

"Likewise. Wherever has Gil been hiding you?" Jim said dryly, his shoulders slumping away from his ears.

"Hiding me?" Laura asked looking from Gil to Brass. "Well, he told me he was going to pick up my daughter then he makes me close my shop and deliver her myself. If he hadn't grown on me I would be miffed."

Remembering something Laura covered her mouth and let out a gasp. "Oh dear. Is Lieutenant Brass not supposed to know yet?"

It was Jim's turn to be puzzled. "Know?"

"It's okay. Jim can keep a secret. Even when his usually high functioning brain is not working properly. This is Sara's mother. I'm planning a surprise."

The immediacy of Brass's mood change was not lost on Laura. So this was Laura. She didn't look like the hippie Sara had described. He wasn't the only one that had made friends with the color bottle. Only Laura's dye job cost at least hundred bucks more than his six dollar Grecian Formula.

"Sara's Mom. I thought you and Cookie were hatched. Nice to know actual humans were involved. And such an attractive human."

Laura gave what could only be described as a coquettish grin touching one precisely cut layer of highlighted hair. "Well Lieutenant Brass.."

"Jim, please. Have you had breakfast?"

OOOOOOOOO

**21 years later**

Gil Grissom watched his daughter smile at the stranger. Apparently not a stranger to her. Something about the encounter put him on edge. He'd seen her flirt before but this was something different. She was enthralled with cocoa-colored, black-haired man. It reminded him of another coed and another teacher nearly thirty years ago.

She'd called soon after he and Sara left the vineyard for London saying that she wanted to have lunch. It was code for "I'm broke, feed me, and give me money." He'd loaded up her prepaid credit card an hour before, choosing to ignore the hundreds of pounds worth of new clothes she had charged in the last month.

Wearing one of the new outfits she smiled at the man and walked towards him. His eyes stayed not on her but the stranger as he followed the sway of his 20 year old daughter's hips and she jogged across the grass. Gil Grissom's still impossibly blue eyes watched as he turned from her and went about his business. He never looked at another woman. Never so much as a swivel even when a stunning Indian woman grazed his arm with a full breast. Trouble with a capital 'T'.

She gave him a quick kiss and looped her arm through his. He winced as her lips made contact.

"I thought Mom told you about wearing sunscreen."

They ambled out of the courtyard. "Wore it. Didn't make any difference. Apparently the Italian sun is specifically designed to burn Italians because she's fine, and Noah and I look like this."

"You can't tell you are burnt though."

"Doesn't matter. Vanity doesn't suit old men."

"You aren't old."

"What would you call it?"

"Seasoned. Wise."

"Gray. Lined."

"Actually it's more white, and you have character. All my friends still think you are sexy."

"Don't tell your mother. She's still disturbed about that friend of yours from Belize."

"The one that grabbed your ass and tried to stick her tongue down your throat. No reason to still be pissed off about a 19 year old coming on to your husband." Hannah responded sarcastically. "So how are you? Mom said you were bitching about the crops and that you got into a huge fight with Aunt Marta and threatened to sell you share in the vineyard." Dramatic pause. "Again."

"Keeps me young to bluster."

"Well bluster on."

The pizza parlor was just in sight. "Don't let me forget to get your mom and Noah a half cheese, half mushroom."

"She already called."

"Ah."

"How is he?" Hannah said quietly. The last year had been hard on the Noah. He'd dropped in international ranking and was struggling with the usual pitfalls of puberty.

"Actually, he's quite good He's made friends with some of the other boys from the Home School Association, and they IM and play games online and chase girls. The current object of his affection is one Miz Mia Weiz. Lots of curly hair. Lots of legs. Lots of pretending he doesn't exist."

"I like her already." Hannah tossed a head full of dark waves.

They walked into the door of the parlor and seated themselves, calling out their order along the way.

Once situated, he took a deep breath and asked the question he didn't want the answer to. "Who was that guy? One of your professors? He looks familiar."

Hannah matched her father's casual tone. "Oh that's Mike. Uh, just Gil Grissom, British version. Math guy." She kept her head buried in a menu she had memorized and didn't need. "I'm thinking dessert, but we can't tell Noah and Mom . They would make us bring them some. What fun is that?"

"Is he married?"

"Nah, a bit of a ladies man from what I hear."

Gil stared at the top of his daughter's chestnut curls as she cut her pizza into tiny tine bites. Something told him he was looking at the Cambridge version of Sara Sidle.

**35 years before**

**Harvard**

"**Who is that?" Sara asked Tim as they walked into the dark of night towards his small sedan. The black haired man's face was lit by the trunk light of his rental car. **

"**Gil Grissom."**

"**THE Gil Grissom?"**

**That's what Gil Grissom looked like. No wonder his weeklong lectures were full. She caught a whiff of Tim's jealously. Not only was Gil Grissom brilliant where Tim was just very smart. Gil Grissom was also drop dead gorgeous compared to Tim's just plain handsome. **

**Sara watched the head full of wild curls recede. They said he liked women. Unlike Tim, he wasn't married and didn't have children. **

**Tim called out to Gil. Gil pretended not to hear. He didn't want to meet Tim's latest pathetic conquest. He did it year after year. He found some pretty young thing and courted her for year. No, courted wasn't the right word. Courted suggested good intentions. A married man, no, a married professor, dating his students or TAs had no good intent. **

**Gil steered clear of his students. Not because he thought anything was inherently wrong with dating the women that attended his seminars or special lectures. He gave them no grades. Over the years he'd learned that most coeds were only star struck for so long. Sooner or later the warts of him being just too damn old for them showed. He wasn't old. Far from it, but he was too old for this bunch. He liked Led Zeppelin, and they liked U2. They groped. He stroked. It was all a fine line but a line none the less. He would not cross it. The results of such unions did not go well.**

**And these women. These women that Tim managed to con into a year of devoted servitude were different from the savvy groupies Grissom acquired from time to time. Tim's women were always wounded, emotionally fractured. **

**So he never turned around on that brisk winter day. He pretended not to hear and hurried into the building. He never looked back to see his future wife, but she saw him. **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Thanks to Cyrbo for proofing the wrong chapter and to Danese for hanging in there.**

The old fashioned black phone rested loosely in Sara's hand. Her face appeared serene but her voice was agitated and tense.

"Mother, you get your ass back hear right now!"

Grissom kept his eyes shut; the covers were pulled close to his ears. He wasn't awake nor was he asleep. Laura had called after breakfast with Brass to say they were going to movie. At dinner, the dinner, they were supposed to have with Grissom's mother, she called to say she and Brass were going to a show. At midnight Grissom had taken that they were having a night cap and not to wait up.

Now it was 7AM and he hoped that his daughter did never have to incur the wrath of Sara Sidle. Hopefully she would be Grissom by that time but then but it was not looking promising. He couldn't even get their mothers in the same part of town let alone the same house.

He wasn't angry with Laura. She deserved a life. Sara, however, was a different story.

"Mother you get your ass back here right now!" she repeated.

"Sweetie. I'm sorry. I can explain." Laura said from somewhere on the strip.

"I don't want you to explain mom. I really don't. You know Jim had to work last night. The man has never missed a day of work as long as I have known him."

"Jim works nights." Grissom mumbled to no in particular. Sara smacked hip lightly on the hip. That was the second time he'd been assaulted by a woman he loved in less than a week. He wondered if he prayed very hard if God would give him a boy. It was only fair.

"Stop taking her side." Sara said crisply.

"May I speak with Gil please?" Laura tried.

"No you may not Mother." Sara drawled the last word out in a long low accusation. "Get your ass back here right now. Better yet put Jim on the damn phone."

Sara listened to muffled sounds for ten or so seconds until her mother came back to the phone.

"Jim is apparently afraid you honey." Laura said adopting a more motherly tone. "I must say honey, it does concern me that a man who stares life and death in the face is afraid of my daughter. Perhaps we should talk to about your anger issues honey."

Sara flopped back on the bed like a dead fish. The woman was exasperating. She was out of her fucking mind. "Mom! I don't' have an anger problem. A problem would denote that it's out of line with what is reasonable. My mother disappearing with my husband's best friend for 24 hours doing God knows what is not normal. Normal mothers don't do this. They do what Grissom's mother is doing right now. They cook breakfast and knit and putter. You have got learn to putter Mom. You are about to be a grandmother."

Laura spoke softly. "I don't know how to putter. What does one do when one putters? I can try and learn," she replied gamily.

"Listen to me lady. Grissom's mother is making a huge Italian because she assumes that we are normal people You are going to be here in no less than 20 minutes. Do you understand me? These are normal people Mom. This woman plays the slots, and bridge and paints. They do normal things. There will be no talk of auras or spirits or seeing her dead husband."

"Is his name Peter?" Laura interrupted. "Because I keep seeing someone name Peter standing behind Gil. He doesn't talk very much but he seems like a nice man. Very Jimmy Stewart."

"See. That's what I am talking about. None of that. And after breakfast Mom, we are going to church. Where you will not engage the priest in theological debate."

"Debate?" Gratefully Sara heard car doors closing and an engine start. "I love clergy. I love church, there are always so many good auras. Though I must admit that sometimes I get confused about who's actually living. I can usually tell by the clothes. For example Gilbert's father always wears this natty bow tie. So what I will do is wait for you to speak to the person before I start talking. How's that?"

"No auras. No talking to dead people. Turn it off Mother. Today you don't see dead people."

Sara hung up the phone and listened to Grissom breath for several minutes. He next words drove Sara from the bed in tears.

"Did you just refer to me as your husband?"

OOOOOOOOO

Laura Sidle took care to face Maria so that the older woman could see her lips fully. They had not met the day before. Laura had dropped Sara off and dashed off to give Grissom his package.

She took in the woman's trim frame. She still wore green silk pajamas, matching robe and slippers with white M's in the center. Already she'd managed to put on a bit of makeup and emerald earrings. She gestured towards the stove where several skillets of food rested on flameless eyes.

"Do you eat meat? There's a wonderful little shop a couple of blocks where they make the best sausage. The owner's father, he's from Piazza."

Laura studied the mounds of steaming food and nodded enthusiastically. "I will eat anything that that's dead and relatively cooked."

Maria spooned eggs, sausage, and several marinated peppers onto a plate. She added some type of pastry to the mixture. Laura's slim nose flared a bit as she savored the peppery aromas conjoined with the heady smell of strong cappuccino. She let out a thick moan as she took the first bite. She shoveled two more bites in quick succession.

"I am sorry." Laura said after wiping her mouth. She took care that Maria could see her lips. "It's just that I'm famished. Jim and I ate last night but Sara summoned me back before we had breakfast."

Maria took a small bite of food and spoke. "Jim? Gil's friend the policeman?"

Laura blushed and gave a small smile.

"Ah," Maria said easily. "Love IS in the air. Perhaps I should move to Vegas."

The two women smiled at one another as they ate. "So tell me about you and Jim. He always seemed like a nice man."

Laura cast a glance to the back of the door that lead to the rest of the house. The smell of pain still lingered in the air.

"I think they're fighting." Maria said quietly. "I think my son has said something stupid-AGAIN."

"What happened?"

"I felt what could have been a door slamming at least twice and Gil doesn't miss any meals so I think they may be fighting."

"Sara either." Laura added. "They could be-oh dear. This is what Sara is talking about. I do talk too much."

Maria's chewed thoughtfully. "They have a lot of sex don't they?"

Laura laughed and nodded. "No wonder they got pregnant."

"Last night during dinner. Well let's just say I don't want to know what was going on under the table. They insisted on doing dishes and they stuffed everything in the dishwasher and bolted out of here."

"When they were at my house. It was the same way after lunch and dinner. And they try so hard to be polite and pay attention."

"What they are fighting about?" Laura wanted to know.

"My guess? The lack of Mrs. in front of Sara's name. All this sneaking around is getting old. Why doesn't he just do it?"

"Says he wants to make a grand gesture." Laura added.

"Well I guess he can sleep in one of those rooms he had built on. At least he won't have to sleep on the couch."

"How many rooms did they add?"

"One bedroom and bath upstairs, and one of each downstairs, and an office for Sara that connects with Gil's."

"He really is a sweet man. You raised a good boy."

"He's very sweet man. I thought I would never have grandchildren. You?"

Laura shrugged. "No, I knew they would get married. I saw it."

"Saw it?"

"Yes. I am-oh dear. Sara said I shouldn't say anything." Laura's eyes flitted to just behind Maria.

"Sara's doing a lot of censoring isn't she?"

"She thinks we are weird." Laura sighed. "That is she thinks I am weird and I think she may be right. I am supposed to act normal."

"Tell me what you aren't supposed to tell me." Marian encouraged.

"Well-" Laura hedged trying to ignore the pleasant face that had just appeared over Maria shoulder.

"I see things sometimes." The blue eyed man gave a smile that was part serene, part imp.

"Did you uh…" Laura thought better of it.

Mara looked over her shoulder expecting to see Gil or Sara. Confused she turned back to Laura.

"Is something wrong?"

"Did you husband, Gil's father, did he wear bowties?"

"Why- yes he did. Did Gil show you pictures of Peter?"

Laura shook her head slowly as the man. He was doing this on purpose, making her feel the fool. Men.

"He's here."

Maria turned her head from side to side. "Gil?"

She turned back to Laura. "No. Peter. He's here. You see-" Laura chewed her lip. "Sara's right, I sound like a nutcase. I have visions. I'm psychic AND I see dead people."

Maria blinked and stared. She was silent for a several long moments. "My aunt Victoria had the gift too. It scared me when I was a girl."

"Oh dear, forget I said anything."

"That last time I was girl you could buy soda for a nickel. Now does he need to tell me anything? Will he talk to you?"

Laura took her eyes from Maria again. She titled her head and released her chewed lip. "I don't think so. People who haven't left anything unsaid rarely have anything to say. They just pop in every now and then. He probably told you he loved you everyday. His affairs were in order when he died?"

Maria gave curt nod and dabbed at her eyes. "His will was written and he left us enough for me not to work for a bit after he died. Actually I could have stayed home a bit longer but Gil got older and I got bored. I needed to get my mind off of it."

The ghost, Laura never new what to call them, receded.

"He's going to check on Gil. He does worry about him I think, though less now with Sara and the baby. He's very proud of him. He likes to play jokes on people. Surprises." Laura nodded her head towards the door. "That's what he doing now. I think he was with Sara and Gil and he heard me, for lack of a better word."

"Oh, he's an awful joker. Impish. When I lost my hearing it was harder for him to pull them on me. It's true what they say. Your senses do get keener. I would notice if something was out of place like a book. He didn't just play tricks. He brought me little gifts. We weren't rich, but we did okay. He was a botanist. He bought me some very nice jewelry I am going to leave for Hannah."

Laura broke into a rueful smile. "I don't' have very much to leave her. I just got on my feet."

Maria patted her hand again. "You'll have more time."

"Yes, I guess I will. You have quite awhile yet."

"You see that?" Maria asked hopefully.

"Yes."

"Good. Now while the lovebirds are fighting tell me about your Jim."

"My Jim?"

"You aren't the only one that sees things."

"I guess…"

Maria waved her fork. "Tell."

"Well I just went to breakfast. You know I don't see things about myself much. That is an eternal blessing but I had this good feeling all the way to Vegas. After breakfast everything just snowballed. He asked me if I would spend the day with him. Then he called in sick. Then there was dancing."

"Real dancing?" Maria was excited by the prospect.

"Cheek to cheek He even knows how to waltz AND tango."

"I dated a man once who could tango. It seemed promising. I tried to ignore the fact that he wore too much gold jewelry."

"What happened?"

"I kissed him"

"Bad?"

"Awful. What kind of kisser is Jim?

"Well, Mrs. Grissom-" Laura laughed.

"Just cause the barn door is up doesn't mean all the chickens have left. Don't tell Gil but I have a gentleman friend in Italy. I have tried telling him but I could see he didn't want to even think about me having a romantic life." Maria wisecracked. "Now what kind of kisser?"

"Weak in the knees, please don't let this end. Please God, don't let this end kisser."

"Good for you. You were right not to come back here. I had about 45 minutes with the horny duo before they bailed out on dinner. It would have been a waste of time. I went and played some poker."

"How'd you do?"

"Broke even. I am better at blackjack but they say once you are old you should do different things or your brain turns to mush and I have a granddaughter to help raise. Is it to too early for a drink?"

"Chianti from your family's vineyard."

"Yes indeed."

"I'll make an exception."

**21 years later**

**Micha Mura twilled a lock of wiry black hair around a thin index finger. He was trying to formulate a style he'd seen in a men's fashions magazine. He'd bought the publication on a whim after he'd noticed to young women about Hannah's age ogling the honey hued model that graced the cover. He'd chucked the issue in with the fish and vegetables he was making for several of his friends. Micha had a keen, unusual style. He picked up clothes from vintage shops and paired them with solid staples that would carry him past his thirties. **

**He wore good shoes. His father, the immigrant son of a cobbler, had taught him that. He paired black pants with crisp white shirts, unusual suspenders and outlandish ties. Before Hannah, he was young and hip and blindingly brilliant.**

**Now he was fiddling with his hair and second guessing every piece of clothing in his wardrobe. Before Hannah, he barely noticed the thick curls that covered his scalp. He had great hair his mother had said. Don't mess with it. Keep it clean and conditioned. Now he wondered if his shoes were too stodgy and if his hair was out of date. All because of Hannah Grissom.**

**It was Hannah's first day as Micha's assistant. She wasn't sure why he picked her. True, she'd applied for the job but she had done that because he'd asked her too. What did that mean? What did any of it mean? Did he want her because she was cleaver and contiguous or was there something more? Perhaps now that she was nearly finished with her undergraduate work and no longer his student he was… what? Was he making a move? Did he want to make a move? Did he just like her a friend?**

**She'd taken a few advanced math courses because she liked math but in the end it wasn't her passion. At the end of the day she'd realized she was doing it to please her scientist parents. Thinking that was what they wanted from her, to be more like them, more analytical and less free. **

**She'd been relieved when her father had said, "Why are you focusing on math classes? You always loved English so much."**

**Micha had been disappointed when she'd told her decision but they'd remained friends, having the occasional cup of coffee. Taking in the odd movie. He was always very respectful. His physical distance reflected warmth and never reflected romantic interest. His hand was always near her back or elbow. She'd not told her parents. She'd not told anyone but her best friend Jamal Brown. Over and over again she warned herself that she was walking over very thin ice finally convincing herself there was nothing to be worried about. **

**The hand on her wrist surprised her.**

"**Why didn't you use your key?" Micha asked.**

"**I uh-forgot I had one."**

**She followed him into the spacious office reserved for the Farris math professor. It was endowed by a minor nobleman whose 15 year son, a math prodigy, died of leukemia a decade before. The position was set aside for math professors who had the potential to create new theories and methodology in the math field. Many considered it a precursor to the Nobel Peace Prize.**

**She watched as he went to his priced cappuccino machine and fired it up. Slowly she crossed the room until they were shoulder to shoulder in front of the gleaming machine.**

"**I should be doing that."**

"**You're my assistant, not my step and fetch it."**

"**I make better cappuccino than you do." Hannah said easily walking to where he stood.**

"**I've never had your cappuccino." His voice was low and even.**

"**But I've had yours." She said taking the canister of coffee from him.**

**35 Years Before **

**She looked at her lover wondering what she ever saw in him. Wishing she had kept the baby and swearing to herself that she would never let herself be bullied by any man again as long as there was breath in her body.**

**The door of his office rattled a bit. Tim barked out an invitation. "Come."**

**Dark hair, a bit like Sara's own appeared first then those eyes. "You still up for drink?" Gil Grissom said, stopping short when he saw Sara. She was given a perfunctory greeting.**

**Tim stood and glanced at his watch. "I promised Abby I'd put together that awful dollhouse of hers."**

**Sara ducked her head and pressed her shoulders close to her. She wasn't aware when Tim left her room so fixed was she was she on the image of his dark haired daughter waiting for her hero father.**

"**Miss Sidle?"**

**Sara turned her eyes up to a handsome face and kind eyes. They were gentle too but mostly they were kind. Like her mother's and her friend from sixth grade, Bess.**

"**Yes."**

"**I don't think you are old enough to drink but maybe you would accompany me to O'Malley's for a pint. That's a pint of soda for you."**

**Sara narrowed her eyes. "It's not soda. It's pop. I'm 21 and I prefer Guinness."**

**Grissom grimaced. "Since when are you 21?"**

**Sara held her one hand with splade fingers. "Five days ago. I think you should know that I will allow you buy me exactly three drinks. I know about you reputation."**

"**I have a reputation?"**

**He raised his eyebrow. She raised hers. Sara won.**

"**What makes you think that you are even my type? Ms. Sidle."**

"**Are you going to buy me a birthday drink or not and I want food too."**

"**Why don't you just plan the rest of my life?"**

**She stood and picked oddly colored green leaf from his shoulder. "I have some time to kill."**

**After their second round of drink and before the greasy appetizers arrived Grissom realized just how absolutely adorable the knobby kneed young woman was. She was talking nonstop and he savored the flashes of pink wet tongue that occasionally appeared between her gab when she smiled. She smiled a lot. He told himself that she was far too sweet for Tim. He hoped Tim had not gotten his hands on this one. **

"**What did your uh-your-"**

**Sara lineless forehead creased. **

"**What did your boyfriend get you for your birthday?"**

**Sara looked down at the scared oak table they occupied. "I've been sick," she said sadly. Self conscious hand slid across her empty womb.**

"**Oh. I'm sorry. You're feeling better?" His hand touched hers without him realizing that flesh had connected.**

"**Well yes, I am. Thank you."**

"**Was it serious?"**

"**I suppose it was. Thank you for asking." **

"**The boyfriend wanted to wait until you felt better?"**

**Sara was confused for an instant. "No. I think we're over."**

"**Were you done on your birthday?" Why was it so important? Knowing every needling detail about this young Sara. **

"**I guess we were."**

"**I'm sorry," he said again. So this is what it was like. To want to fix everything. To want to take care. Sex as a second or third thought.**

**They ate fish and chips with gusto trading anecdotes through mouthfuls of salty mush. Grissom ordered two brownies with hot fudge, French vanilla ice creams and candles. He insisted the staff sing Happy Birthday to a giggling Sara. They finished with Bailey's and coffee. They walked back to her dorm commenting on the odd bit of Boston Architecture. At the end of the week he left without saying goodbye. The white gold hoped earrings came with a card. The links of the bracelet were connected with surreal ovals of peridot. **

**_Dearest Sara, _**

**_I have enjoyed the dinners, the coffees and the conversations. I have acquired a taste for Guinness and a friend. Thank you for allowing me to be your friend. _**

_**Happy Birthday**_

_**Grissom **_


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N This might appear to be the ending but there is at least one more chapter to go-more likely two. I have to give Micah and Hannah some love and give Daddy Grissom a heart attack when he finds out his little girl is in love. Shout out to Danese and Cybro**

Gil Grissom watched as he listened to the steady hum of the monitors. Stable. She was stable. The baby was stable. It would be fine.

Finally after three hours of back and forth with Hannah, Sara had fallen into a solid sleep. Hannah seemed to have joined her. Grissom was sure he would never sleep again.

He'd just left the stand after testifying in a manslaughter case. He pushed one on his cell phone after he read the display. Five missed calls from Sara. Sara knew he was in court. Knew his phone was on silent. Something was wrong.

No one answered their land line. When he finally reached Sara's cell phone it was Laura's voice he heard.

"_Gil?"_

"_Where is she?" He almost shouted as he passed Warrick in the hallway. The familiar bark caused the other man to lift his head from the file he was reading. By the time he focused, Grissom had rounded the corner and was out the front door of the courthouse._

"_She's fine Gil-"_

"_Where is she?" he said sharply._

"_We're at St. Philip's. Sara was having some contractions."_

_Contractions? It was too soon for contractions. He was five minutes from the hospital but it seemed like an hour. _

The monitor made some erratic sound that jarred him from his ruminations. He contemplated Sara's belly as it rose and fell with each of her breaths.

With quiet determination he moved his chair closer to Hannah.

"Hannah-sweetheart," he whispered "Your old man needs you to do something for him. Just this one thing and for the rest of your life all you have to do is make good grades and be pretty. That shouldn't be so hard considering your fantastic gene pool and yes that was sexist and fathers of little girls are allowed. I need you to stay in there for another eight weeks. I mean you can stay longer if you want-don't' tell your mom I said that. Coming out right now is not good for you. Your little lungs aren't ready. And there's some other stuff too. See your Dad, in case you haven't figured out yet, is what my mother has affectionately called a foot dragger and an over-thinker.

I over-thought everything with your mom, which is why we ended up here with you on the way and no ring on your mom's finger. I had these plans-these fabulous plans about proposing in front of our family and friends but actually getting that motley crew together is not exactly working. I have spent a lot of these past few months trying to make up for the years of my abject stupidity and I guess I have done a pretty good job. But for this one last thing you gotta stay put kiddo. Call me old fashioned. Hell, call me old as you most certainly will when you get a good look at me, but I don't want you to be born out of wedlock."

Grissom touched Sara's belly lightly. "Look if you can't give me two months I understand. According to all the research a month should be fine. I know you want to get out here and see what's happening. You have quite an exciting life waiting for you. Two wonderful grandmothers who can't wait to spoil you rotten.

You have a bevy of uncles who are ready to scare away all the boys with guns and frightening hair. I probably should explain about your Uncle Nick. He's not dressing in drag or anything. He's a straight guy who is a spit away from forty. He just, well, he recently quite smoking, and he's been doing strange things with his body hair.

And Greg, well Greg is not ever going to have normal hair, and that's working for him. He's funny and reliable and smart as the dickens. Tell him I said that and I will disavow all knowledge.

Warrick used to have some twisty things but now it's just an afro-I think. He's smooth with a capital "S" and he can teach you all the tricks the boys will try to pull.

Brass, now there is a normal head of hair if I ever saw one. He's going a little bit bald and he dyes. You know I used to dye mine too. Well I still dye. Well I don't actually, Martin is transitioning me because it looked a bit foolish. Well maybe not, I would like to think my not so natural locks contributed to your being here.

Then there's Catherine. Cath is well... There are a number of useful things Cath can teach you as you grow into a young woman. I just don't want to know about any of them."

Grissom took a deep breath and kissed the smooth taut skin thought the stiff white gown. "Thanks for listening sweetheart. I know you're going to do the right thing."

Just then Grissom felt Sara's hand brush across the back of his head. "You're an idiot. Where's my ring?" she managed to croak out.

He smiled into tired eyes and took her left hand in his white one. "It's beautiful. It's special. Unique.

"Where is it?"

"At home. You want me to go and get it?"

Sara considered for a second finally shaking her head. "No. It can wait-I guess-but I want a minister."

"You got it."

"A real one. No space aliens or Elvis. Someone that had to go to school and study hard."

"We can have a rabbi and a priest if you want." His lips brushed her forehead.

"And cake. I want a chocolate cake with white sparkly icing." Sara felt as if the weight of the world was from the shoulders.

"To match your dress."

Her eyebrows lifted in surprise. "The dress was my mother's idea."

"I might be a foot dragger but I'm not stupid. I know about the dress. It is hanging in your closet."

Sara looked at the monitors. Pleased to see the peaceful movement of lines and flashes. "There's so much to do. What if she can't wait? What if she's too excited?"

"If she can't wait I am sure I can find a priest somewhere around here and I think the staff can be bought off with some cake. You don't worry about anything. We have two mothers and one Catherine to deal with a wedding.

But I have confidence in our girl. She's going to stay put and we are going to have a wedding. And when we leave this hospital with our little girl in our arms we'll be Grissom, Grissom and Grissom."

"We could start a forensics firm."

"She's not going to be some weird scientist. She's going to be normal. An English teacher or something."

"Whatever you say honey."

**22 years later**

Hannah looked around the cozy room. All her thrift store furniture was in place. Curtains from Aunt Catherine and Uncle Warrick billowed in the light breeze. Flowers from her little brother rested in an ancient milk jug. The skillet and saucepan Rashad ordered from Amazon had been washed. They now sat conspicuously? on the drying rack.

She resisted the urge to squeal. She had her own apartment. Her very own apartment. So what if her parents owned the building and occupied the first floor. It was still hers. She paid rent and opened a locked door with her very own key.

Her parents had broached the subject when Mrs. Wales, the former tenant and previous owner of building, had died while reading Miss. Marple and sipping a glass of port.

She'd been thrilled first and hesitant second. She insisted that she pay a fair and reasonable rent. They charge her what they had charged Mrs. Wales. It was not fair, they could charge triple that, but for her it was certainly reasonable that and her family did not consider the four rooms upstairs part of their own domicile. She finally gotten all the things moved in and except for helping her unpack her parents and brother had not so much entered or domicile. They were following rules. Call before you come up the stairs. This was not an extension of their home. This was Hannah's home. She smiled as she wondered who would be the first to break the rule. Noah was her guess though lately training had been keeping him busy. He was out of his slump and on track for the Olympics. What a hoot her little brother was going to be an Olympian. Just the other day he'd been putting frogs in her bed.

She half expected him to be on the other end as her phone let out a little beep.

"Hello," she said airily.

"Hello." Micah's refined European accent filtered through the phone.

"Did I forget something at the office?" She knew she hadn't.

"Uh no. This isn't work related. I was wondering if I might take you out to dinner and give you your housewarming or flat-warming present."

Hannah took a deep breath. "Can you hold for one second?"

That did it. They had officially crossed the line. The light flirting, the hands brushing as he walked her home or they ate a late lunch. An image of her parents flitted across her mind. Another teacher, another student, time wasted, opportunities missed. Technically he wasn't her instructor any longer but he was still her boss. Did she want this? Did she want to care about him enough to cross the line? Was he worth the risk?

Yes, yes and yes. She put the phone to her ear and spoke lightly. "Pick me up at five. You know where it is?"

"Corner of Sidney and Green. House with the red door."

"Come up the stairs and you'll be at my door."

"I can't wait."

Neither could she.


	12. Chapter 12

Sara knew that she looked slightly ridiculous but she didn't care. A thirty something very pregnant bride didn't exactly turn heads in Vegas though she could tell that the Rev. Robertson, the vibrant, matronly, Episcopalian priest Grissom had managed to dig up also seemed slightly distracted by her condition. Sara was showing but had found the nearly perfect dress for concealment

Finally the woman, nearly a foot shorter than Sara, turned her silver streaked, black head towards Sara and whispered, "I don't mean to be indelicate dear, but are you with child?"

Sara had smiled and laid a warm hand across her belly, "Yes -Reverend."

"I know one should never ask questions but you are so thin and your Mr. Grissom was so nervous about getting it done as soon as possible. I thought it was a safe assumption."

That had been two hours ago when she was Ms. Sara Heartflowe Sidle now she was Sara Heartflowe Sidle Grissom. Or maybe Sara Sidle-Grissom or perhaps just Sara Grissom.

She peered around the elegantly appointed table in her new home with her friends and family and smiled contently.

Raising her voice over the raucous group she spoke easily. "What's this I hear about a bet?"

"Damn girl, you haven't been in the lab in weeks, what do you have the place bugged?"

Sara tipped her head towards Greg. "I have my sources."

"Give it up Sanders. You are forever trying to win the woman over. She's Grissom's girl, always has been always will be." Warrick said easily

"If I am not over Sara, " Greg chimed in. "Then why did I win the entire pool?"

Grissom sauntered into the dining room with two more bottles of wine for the guest and a small bottle of sparkling cider for he and Sara. "What pool?"

Nick hiccupped and gave a lopsided, slightly drunken grin. "Boss if we tell you this you have to promise that it's not going to incriminate us later. This is off the record."

Grissom shook his head and topped off Nick's wine glass. "Well I will have to ask my wife about that. What do you say dear?"

"I say we give them amnesty." Sara replied kissing his ring finger.

Catherine, who had been unusually, quiet looked from Sara to Gil. "For the record they wouldn't let me or Brass bet."

Brass, his arm slung casually around Laura Sidle's chair nibbled a sliver of cheese from his over full plate. "In all fairness I had a wee bit of insider information but not when you guys thought I did. Until two weeks ago I was part of the speculation squad."

Grissom settled himself next to Sara kissing her cheek lightly as he did so. "Tell us."

"Thing was that after that day at the pizza parlor all kinds of rumors and speculation cropped up. After that all variables went into play. They are together but they aren't married. The kid's his. The kid's not Grissoms. No one took that sqaree not even Greg who still remained hopeful. But yeah that day in the pizza parlor upped all the ante." Warrick said as Catherine slapped his hand away from her plate.

"I hear that was some bad business," Brass said.

Sara smiled and stroked her belly. "It was awful."

"I was not that bad ." Grissom tried to defend himself. "Who won."

Warrick tried for Catherine's plate again. This time he succeeded in snagging a strawberry. "Weight and time of birth are part of the equation. Righ now Nick's predictions are actually the favorite but I called my grandmother. She says girl's are born just before full moon."

A slim hipped waiter hired for the occasion entered the surprisingly spacious dining room carrying a tray with slices of the cake that Grissom and Sara had cut earlier.

"Yummy," Catherine said as she put a thick slice of moist looking of chocolate cake in front of her. "Let me see those rings again," she said to Sara. Dutifully Sara held up her left hand for the entire table to see.

"You done good." Brass said grudgingly. "I wouldn't have thought of an emerald but for Cookie it works."

Sara grinned at the large round square emeralds surrounded by small diamonds and set in 24 karat gold. Hours before it had been alone and now it was paired with simple gold band.

Grissom wore a similar band his inlaid with five emeralds made of the same metal.

"Wait before you dig into my wife's favorite desert. We're going to eat my favorite desert."

Catherine clapped. "Chocolate covered fortune cookies."

The waiter now moved from person to person as they all took one dark chocolate cookie from an antique silver bowl. Grissom's mother declined signing to him, "I have all the good fortune any woman could want for a lifetime.

Once everyone had a confection Grissom announced. "Alright. I don't do sentimental but with a new life," he looked at Sara. "And a new life," he touched her rounded stomach. "Comes changes. Now we're going read our fortune out loud."

Cath had her fortune open and was chomping at thee bit. "Okay me-here I go." Grissom noticed that she had given up some of her vanity and now used her glasses to read most of the time. "Mine says, look not ahead but beside."

Warrick took his turn not wanting to ponder Catherine's' too closely. "What you are looking for is often at your side."

Greg cleared his throat and began to read happily. "You still have wild oats to sow." He gave a relieved goofy grin. "At the end of your path true love awaits."

Nick appeared shy as he read the words printed on the sliver of crisp white paper "A prince will always find his princess. Love is but a glimmer away."

Begrudgingly Brass read his, tongue loosened by several glasses of wine. "The time is now."

Laura Sidle could barely be heard. "Mine says the same thing."

**22 years later**

The thing of it was that she loved him. Loved him enough to know that what they had would not sustain him for the rest of his life. Loved him enough to know that he needed something else. She understood now after spending Hanukkah with his very, very nice family. His nice family that looked slightly stunned to see a blue eyed, Yank sitting next to their Ethiopian-Israeli Micah golden child as he read from the Torah.

Hannah she was sure his family held out so much promise with a name like Hannah. At the very least they expected a European accented, Hebrew schooled doctor or lawyer from a traditional family where aunts and uncles were actually blood relations. What they got was Catholic, poetry writing Hannah who's American twang likely set their cultured ears on end whose familial ties were difficult to explain and even harder to visually digest.

He loved her. Of course he loved her. He'd loved her for ages. Almost since they'd met. In his mind, his rational orderly mind, they had always belonged together. It was just a matter of time. In her less orderly mind, her romantic poets ramblings, she knew that in the end she would not be happy. The differences would be too great. Hannah could bend-some but not enough for it to to matter.

Then why, why had she slept with him-again? She'd intended to break up with him. He rolled onto his back and stared up at her.

"Hey you. We have that conference tomorrow." His thin fingers pressed delicately into a dimple just above her buttocks.

"And why do I have to go again?" she asked resisting the urge to collapse against him.

He rolled his eyes playfully and pinched her lightly. "So everyone can see my hot assistant."

"Ah. Here I thought you were so above that," Hannah said softly.

"All you've got to do is sit next to me and wear you glasses. Write me a poem. Ode to Conference." he sad softly. "I just like having you with me. I know you should be writing. What if I buy you a new laptop? One of those you can write on with a stylus. I know you like putting pen to paper."

"I am always going from my laptop to my notebook," She sighed but then thought better of it. She was going breaking up with him. Fatigue coursed through her body. She hadn't been to the gym in two weeks. Had even skipped one of her brother's major tournaments because she needed to sleep. Only to find that she couldn't seem to fall out. She wanted to talk to her mother but with the Holidays near and her entire family coming it was nearly impossible.

"Junior!" came a disembodied voice on her nightstand.

Hannah reached for the phone and pushed the blue talk button. "Hi Grampy."

"What's this I hear about you father making you pay rent? You tell that cheap SOB that I said that my granddaughter doesn't have to pay for crap. I told him that if he were to ever nickel and dime you or your mother I would kick his ass. He's turned his phone off. I know he's there."

"Grampy it's one in the morning and Daddy was never cheap even when he was single."

Silence from the other line. Finally Jim Brass cleared his throat. "Oh sorry. Did I wake you honey. I'll call back."

"No I was awake."

"Good. Now what's this about rent?"

"I want to pay my own rent. I have a job," Hannah explained.

"How's much is he charging you and what about your poetry. I thought you were going to concentrate on that? I thought your professors said that you need to focus."

"400 Euros about 425 dollars. I still have plenty of time for poetry."

Brass offered a begrudging grunt. "Well that's not too bad I guess."

"Are you kidding me? Prime location. Besides I insisted." She stuck out her tongue at Micah who seemed to be enjoying the exchange.

"Well the January is on me and your grandmother."

"Grampy no. I'm fine. I eat with Mom and Dad half the time." She didn't add that she ate with Micah the rest of the time. Her family had been so busy that no one had noticed her long absences-yet.

"Alright then we'll just give you a four hundred and twenty five dollar Christmas present. I'll Paypal you."

"Grampy, what's this about you not coming for Christmas?"

"That? I'm sure your mother and your grandmother put you up to this. I'm not coming to England. They won't let me take my gun on the plane."

"Why do you need a gun?"

"Cause." he answered petulantly.

She heard her grandmother say something in the background. "Grampy, I won't take the money unless you give to me in person. This is the first time everyone is going to be here at the same time. Don't you want to see Aunt Cath's face work? Jamal say's its primo, that you can hardly tell. No wind blown tunnel stuff. Still it's a excellent opportunity to harass her."

He grunted something that she could only take as consent. " You make a good point. With them living in Vegas and us in Florida, I don't have much face to face needling opportunities. Your grandmother says I have to go. People are coming over for bridge. She says she'll call you back after."

"Love you."

"Love you too." The transatlantic connection ended.

Micah pulled her down to him inhaling the musk of sex and the smell of gardenias that clung to her skin. "Why does your grandfather call you Junior?"

"He calls my mother Cookie. I'm Cookie Junior."

"Ah" He kissed the top of her head. "I thought my family was nuts. I can't wait to meet yours."

The mention of his family pulled Hannah out of her safe cocoon and back to the business at hand. She pulled away from him and shifted herself onto one elbow. There was never going to be a good time. They would never be enough of a fight, a long enough silence, a time when sensuality and love did not hang between them.

"Why haven't I met your family?" He asked as if reading her thoughts.

"I-" She lifted herself completely away from him pulling most of the sheet with her. If she looked in a mirror she knew she would see sadness in her eyes and color leaving her face.

"Oh," he breathed pulling to the other side of her bed leaving her the rest of the sheet to cover herself while he sat exposed.

"I'm not going to meet them am I?"

Slow head shake from her as she struggled to keep saline at bay. After several long, desperate moments on his part and several anxious sad ones on her part he finally spoke.

"So what's wrong with me? Too old? Too brown? Too Jewish." He cast a glance at the burgundy silk yamaka that rested on the nightstand. Not really waiting for an answer he walked towards her kitchen and returned with a tumbler full of wine.

He took two deep swallows, said something in Hebrew and stared at her cleavage then back at her face. "Hopefully I am good enough to drink your family's wine."

Hannah adjusted to the sheet. "It's not you. It's me."

He snorted and nearly choked on another gulp of wine. "Really..."

"Babe-" This was a terrible idea. She should have waited until the morning. Suddenly she only wanted to sleep.

"Babe is it now." Another gulp.

"You need to slow down." Suddenly she felt really warm, beads of sweat started to coat her arms and neck. Maybe she was coming down with something. Perhaps it was more than just the stress of having to break up with Micah.

"So do you." He stared at her again this time with a more serious look like when he was close to solving an equation but couldn't quite finish it.

"You don't need someone like me." she tried again. "You need someone that will fit in better with your family. Did you look around the table last week? I looked like an alien from another planet. Your family is all about family and tradition and religion. I mean you have three cousins that basically have arranged marriages. Right now it's perfect but the minute we have the first fight about confirmation or Hebrew school or what to check on the race form for school it won't be so perfect anymore."

"You think we can't overcome that? You sound like my..."

"Your mother?"

He took another burgundy hued swallow.

"I think it will be nearly impossible and I don't want you to resent me."

"So you think that not trying at all is going to be better than trying and failing. Besides-" he gestured towards her. "We'll have the argument about religion whether we are together or not."

Irritation jangled her nerves as she struggled to keep her eyes open. Now she wanted to sleep? What the hell was wrong with her? "What are you talking about?" She yawned.

Putting the cup down he leaned towards her. "Hannah-" His tone hovered somewhere between warning and incredulity.

"What are you talking about, M?"

"You aren't," his voice was low and slightly desperate. "You can't sleep then you sleep for hours. You can't stand the smell of coffee and barely eat before noon. This from a girl who ate a full breakfast every morning that I have known her. You have eaten more chocolate this week than you have in the last year. Hannah-"

"I'm got premenstrual stuff going on."

"Hannah the last time you had a period was two months ago. I thought you were afraid to tell me but now-I see-sweetheart you're pregnant."

TBC


End file.
